Yellow page 12.17

This is the original (sorta) yellow page that sprouted several little stories

Santa’s Stingy Elf

This is the finished product that ran in The Press

Santa’s stingy elf

The Salvation Army requires a Social Security number before they give

Yes they really do require “papers” to apply charity.

Yellow page 12.15

The yellow notepad is starting to show some wear

8th District Domino Effect

John, Roy and Luther

Another yellow page

I was having some serious computing problems that day. grrrrr

Quicksand!

Just so you know that it IS ok to change your mind, especially when you are wrong.

Monster Tuesday Sketch

completed for Tuesday Sketch

The theme this week was monster under the bed. Here are some other examples.

find them all

I think the musical rabbit turned out nice

Money can’t fix everything

but what it can get I could use...

The yellow pages 11.17

The yellow pages 11.12

Veteran’s Day 09

A sincere thanks to all my veteran friends

Karzai

Of course he won again. What were you thinking

Doodles from 11.3.09

Hard times or Christmas too early?

You decide

To the rescue!

It doesn't seem to be working out well

I’ve been watching a lot of old movies lately Buster Keaton,  Harold Lloyd and naturally Charlie Chaplin (thank goodness for youtube). I’m a fan of the hapless hero.

Obstacle course

What's that saying, anything worth doing is hard?

Has anybody else noticed that our president is getting a little grayer at the temples?

Love hurts

Tennessee football is painful to watch this year

It doesn’t matter if it’s the Volunteers, the Titans or even Vandy. I can’t look.

Rumors of My Demise

Thompson's Grocery, Martin TN

This is the drawing I did for their t-shirts. A paying gig, ya dig?

Groucho Marx’s Birthday

Don't be hatin, I drew it in 15 minutes

Extinction

Dark before dawn

Pick a statistic and run with it

Joe Wilson: let me interject

I almost feel sorry for him, almost

I really don’t think his outburst was racially motivated and I also feel that the House Reprimand was a bit much. I think he just forgot his manners like people do when they get all fired up. On the other hand I think it’s weird how groups on the right are turning this ill mannered Joe into another populist hero. So what do we have? Joe the Plumber and Joe the Loudmouth.

debate, debate, stall!

Is being human a pre-existing condition?

I was going to write a big post about what all and so on. I just deleted it because it was too long to read and it was incoherent anyhow. Besides if the cartoon doesn’t say it all then it ain’t much is it.

21st century party line

Where all good rumors start

Right now in Hooterville the police and TBI are trying to capture a serial rapist who has struck 3 times in the last 2 months. Everyone is impatient and scared, particularly the young women who are potential victims. As you might imagine this sort of thing doesn’t happen in a place like Hooterville and everyone wants action. RIGHT NOW DAMMIT! Rumors have run rampant of additional attacks and the attacker’s identity. The police in conjunction with the TBI have been trying to quietly question suspects and gather evidence. Today however there was a leak and a man was named. If you had your ear to the “party line” you would have heard that a street was blocked off and a man was arrested by the name of ________ who is kin to _______and ________. Several phone calls were made to local traditional media outlets “Why aren’t you reporting this?” “Memphis is!” “A friend of a friend of mine sent me a facebook pic, it’s him.” “It’s on the topix website.” (which I will not link to thank you.) And so on and so on, you get the idea. Well, what those people didn’t understand was, 1st: the news stations that were posting to the web weren’t telling anything that wasn’t already well known, 2nd: The reliable sources (police, TBI) were not ready to release info at this time. So the local media waits for the phone call and I am practicing my standard answer in a situation such as this, “I don’t know, yes I work at a newspaper, but I don’t know. I’m in advertising.” Hopefully that will hold them off long enough for me to drink a beer in peace.

Monday, meh

stuff left over

Sorry, not feeling very brilliant today. I have the onset of a sinus infection and I feel grosser than I sound or look. The pic on the left was drawn under the heavy influence of drums. The one on the right isn’t really a drawing and you should probably ignore it. I mean, it does have some interesting elements that might could be used for something else particularly that mosque looking thing. Otherwise, meh.

Keep a civil tongue

I need better earplugs

Personally I don’t think we’ll have health reform. Public sentiment just isn’t what it needs to be for that to happen. It sucks, but that’s the truth. It’ll never happen here in America. Why? Because we’re stingy. That guy over there with a low wage job and no insurance? Ah screw him, it’s my money! Mine! All mine!

Look! A bunny!

purely random while I was making notes

These things just happen when you’re at a stand still thinking of cartoon ideas. Sometimes you have to turn loose for a minute and draw something silly.

Spreadsheet doodles

Some doodles collected over the week or so

These don’t have any firm meaning, they are simply expressions of fleeting feelings made during stolen minutes. I’m thinking of incorporating them into a larger piece. Any suggestions?

Town Hall Meeting

cue the firing squad

It’s pathetic what our political discourse has sunk to. I understand we don’t want to burden future generations, but something has to be done to fix the healthcare system. How are we going to do that when we can’t even be civil enough to debate our ideas clearly?

Spaghetti Western

The good, the bad, the ugly

I was raised on Roy Rogers, but Spaghetti Westerns are awesome.

They take care of their own

The Reading Railroad and Carl Perkins cut

They were cut from the budget because “they are not city organizations, we have to take care of our own.” On the other hand The Martin Business Association received no cuts at all and will continue to get their $5,000. While I understand that hard times call for drastic measures, this isn’t the way. Reading Railroad promotes literacy among Tennessee’s children and The Carl Perkins Center helps support families in preventing and dealing with child abuse. Child abuse and illeteracy are serious problems in West Tennessee. The citizens of Martin benefit from these volunteer based programs. To cut funding from them because they also serve other areas besides Martin is snobbish. It’s certainly no way to recruit businesses to our little town.

Buzzards of network news

beat the dead horse then eat it

Have you ever seen just one buzzard at a carcas? Me neither.

Friday Post

The Mouse and the Motorcycle

Mine won't even send or receive pics. dang

That top drawing I did trying to win this magazine for a year. Keeping my fingers crossed. The book is this one by Beverly Cleary. I also bought this, yay me!

I’ve actually sat at a table where everybody was on the phone in one way or another. It tends to stall face to face conversations. How often do we trade non virtual relationships for virtual ones?

Lazy Dog Day

One lazy mutt

This is the way I have felt all day. It’s been gloomy and rainy all day, the perfect day for a long nap. Or maybe a book and a nap. Or a book, snack and a nap.

Inharmonious

a blah day

Ever have one of those days? Today I just want to curl up on the couch and stare at bad TV. It all started when my pants no longer fit me. It just went down from there. I’d be up for some savagery, but I don’t think I have the spleen for it today.

Ready For Take Off!

self portrait, drawn with my new astronaut ink

40 years ago Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong landed on the moon, bounced around, took some sample moon rocks and inspired a nation that was at that time tearing itself apart. It was 1969. There was a lot going on.

All my life I have been fascinated with space. What’s out there? Who’s out there? When I saw the first pictures of the surface of Mars beamed back from the rovers I was thrilled. I was gazing at the horizon of a whole other planet.

There’s a new push to land a man on Mars. Can it be done? Should it be done? On one hand, yes it should and one day we will be able to. Think of all the technology that came from our pursuit of the moon. On the other hand, no, we have a huge national debt and problems galore here on Earth that technology can’t solve.

Friday post

what you get when you scan money

This warning popped up when I was scanning a $20 dollar bill for an advertisement. Yikes.

Me and my favorite pen, ready for space travel

Remember my favorite pen? It lives on thanks to these refills.  The pressurized ink comes out smooth and I can draw under water now. Squirrel Queen was quick to point out though that the paper would only get wet.

A wise latina once told me…

Sotomayor: self proclaimed wise woman

Well, she probably is smarter than me considering she’s a judge and all, I just have problems with people who claim to be wise. It just seems wrong and suspect to me. It reeks of self importance and pride.The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.” William Shakespeare

Dreaming in Technicolor

and time slips away

It seems like we are always wanting to be somewhere else. We’re apt to drift off at any moment into a technicolor daydream.

Tennessee Gun Law: One hot mess

The more I read the less I know

Then again most legislature is confusing, but the TN Gun Law is beyond confusing. It’s a hot mess. “You can take your gun here, but not there and only at certain times and phases of the moon. Then again, municipalities and owners of private property have the power to make their own rules concerning carrying a concealed weapon. So who really knows? Not that it concerns me in particular, I don’t carry, but I do see how this could turn into a “don’t ask, don’t tell” situation when carrying hand guns. I think that is probably already going on more than we know.

Gone hiking the Appalachian trail

Sanford goes a courting

My friend Wendell calls it “sparking” which makes me laugh. In my opinion Sanford is a sap. He even sounds like a sap, mooning over some girl like a love sick teenager. I wonder if he used the same lines when he was courting his wife.

Requiem for a pen

stranger in a strange town

I think my favorite ball point pen is about to bite the dust. I got it free at a seminar in a goody bag from the Herald Citizen. It’s heavy and makes nice heavy lines. Sigh…I can refill, but it will never be the same.

Sometimes you gotta

...grab a marker

What’s that about idle hands? Oh yeah, things get marked on. Wide black marker and highlighters on scratch paper. It’s a freakin’ masterpiece!

Promises, Promises

Well, it was a tall order to begin with

The man’s not a miracle worker and some things just proved to be impossible for him to fix. Other things he has flat out reneged on.

Racist Tennessee

Is this the best we can do?

It’s one thing to hear a racist or discriminatory joke from a crony at the bar, it’s totally different when it’s a forward from someone connected to your state government.  Whether you are a Goforth, Graves or a Hobbs it’s unprofessional. It makes our whole state look like a bunch of clod hopping idiots. We wonder why our state ranks at the bottom of education and companies only want to do business with us because of low wages? It’s because Tennesseans still think racist jokes are funny and cute and we forward them to all our funny and cute friends. Why would anyone invest in such a state of unprofessional clodhoppers. I’m putting all state employees on notice. Do better.

Mother Earth Blues

didn't your mama teach you better?

I can’t understand why the same people who would never throw a beer can at their Mama gladly toss it in the ditch. It’s gross and tacky. Cut it out.

Bicycle

a dour bicycle rider

I’ve been working on this doodle for most of the week on and off and just colorized it today. Now before you say anything, no, I didn’t use any photo reference for the bike so I don’t know if they came with kickstands or not. Don’t judge me on the rider’s outfit either, I just made it up.

1 Foot Wide City Limits

Martin annexes the noodle to get the meatball

This cartoon may be a little obscure to anyone outside of Martin TN, so I’ll attempt to explain. Our electric company (Weakley County Municipal Electric System or WCMES) bought some land outside of Martin city limits to build their new main offices. Their sewer line runs 1.75 miles back to the city of Martin’s sewer system. So in response the mayor and aldermen decided that they would annex a 1 foot by 1.75 mile long strip down Hwy 22 up to and including the land that the new WCMES building sits on. The City of Martin will get an extra $70,000 dollars in property tax revenue. Now that’s what I call having your noodle and eating your meatball too.

Pictures what I took

musicians’ shadows on a brick wall

My Left Foot

bad phot, good painting?

smoky bar

fur stole? dead cat?

I really should apologize for that last pic. I know, disgusting. I was out taking pictures of the illegal dumping back behind our more fashionable downtown areas. I really did think it was a dead cat. On closer inspection it turned out to be an old fur stole. The white stuff is batting. I don’t know who is trashing the area, but I do know that it isn’t all the fault of outside people (if’n you know what I mean).

Kim Jong Il: Beat on the Brat

Beat on the brat with a baseball bat, oh yeah

Um, I don’t think sanctions are working. One of these days we are going to have to decide what to do with this guy. It ain’t going to be pretty either way.

The Sanctity of Marriage: Prop 8

aw aren't those two lovely

If heterosexual couples can ruin each other’s lives why can’t homosexual people be allowed to do the same?

It’s how you run the race

It's your party, cry if you want to

This is the very picture of our local political scene here in West TN. It’s contentious to say the least. Since the statewide Republican victory in the house and senate several county election administrators have been shown the door. Democrats have taken a beating. But like they say in NASCAR, “It’s nothing personal, it’s just racing.” Or as the local chair of the Republican party said “…I’ll leave you with this comment from our President, Mr. O’bama, when being criticized for some of his decisions – “Elections have consequences.”

Farm Noir

Nothing to sneeze at

Seems like everything I hear is bad news. Job losses, job losses, job losses, SWINE FLU! OMG WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!! I can only listen to that noise for so long.  I’m not going to sit around and worry myself into a tizzy worrying about what might or might not happen. I’m going to keep drawing silly pictures for you to look at whether I have a job here or somewhere else, I apologize ahead of time for the fry grease.

The Demon Carousel

No! No! Daddy I don't wanna ride!

I saw this Demon Carousel at The Iris Festival held in Dresden this weekend. Carnival rides are fascinating, I thinks it’s the mix of the threat of danger and the promise of fun.

Rocking out: 21st century

drawn under the influence of some serious noise

I had the pleasure (and pain*) of rocking out with InfantDecibal and The Vent Depart two local bands that played The Stable last Saturday. I really did enjoy seeing these guys play, I just wish there had been a bigger crowd to see them. They put themselves out there and played hard, I’ll post a pic of one of their drum sticks later. It is demolished.

*I say pain because my ears rang all day Sunday.

SWINE FLU!!!!!!

OH NOES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Could this be one of those media driven events? I wondered that, what with the constant 24/7 coverage. But we’re like that as a people really. No worries though, knowing us we’ll be freaking out about something else in a couple days or so.

The Funk: Pass it on

showing the improper use of a kleenex

Nearly everybody I work with is sick with some malady. I just hope I can manage to escape.

Twitter: And we’re off to the races!

I saw a breaking story today out of Arizona about a school shooting today (which hadn’t actually happened) which made me think about the way our new media works. It’s twitterific! The speedier the delivery, it seems that there is less fact checking. Which is why I still prefer to wait until the story settles into place. Otherwise it’s all a big mess of jumbled facts and messed up figures.

It’s a Tea Pary!

no not that one

Well, we had a little tea party here. I was not in attendance naturally. I don’t do rallies as a rule. I don’t like crowds, especially when they are worked up about something. I wasn’t real sure what the “tea party” was all about anyway. My basic understanding was that it had something to do with feeling over taxed and that they were miffed about the stimulus money and where it was going. As for me, I don’t make enough money to even pay in and if you’ve read this blog for any length of time you would know that I’ve been squawking about our deficit for a long time. So why all the rage now? Just now? Where was the anger when our deficit exploded into the trillion dollar range? Just wondering.

HB0489: Retardation in action

Oh Tennessee...

I’m speechless. Here let’s look at the last 2 months in gun violence and then ask ourselves if our right to bear arms supersedes someone else’s right to live.

Basketball is over!

well, for the college level anyhow

My condolences to Michigan State, at least I think they were there. Congrats to the Tar Heels. Now on to baseball. To me spring doesn’t start till opening day. It’s time to see what the rookies have got and if that trade is going to pay off. But the one thing that all baseball fans have on their minds is, will my team make it this year, or will they bomb like last year? C’mon Braves don’t break my heart again this year!

Are you a Democrat or a Mouse?

This dedicated to all those Democrats who are entirely too chummy with the GOP because they don’t want to lose any Republican votes for them. They forget that it is they who lost us Democrat leadership in the House and Senate here in TN. The new anti gun control laws? Their fault. The utter chaos that the TNDP is in? Also their fault. Why would you even put yourself out there as a Democrat (or not, in the case of local Democrats who don’t want to be identified as such) and take the money, time and other support from your Democrat constituents if you are just going to go all weak in the knees in front of a Republican and cave? It’s disgusting and cowardly. I know there will be some that would say “What do I know?” Well, I’ll tell you what I know, I’m pissed. And so are some other Democrats I know. So let me ask you, Are you a Democrat or a mouse?

Thanks again Tom Richmond

Obama in color

You’ve got to love a guy that gives you step by step instructions. It’s just like having the professor in the room with you. Of course I screwed up my first attempt, see below:

cartoon for sunshine week

I missed a couple of steps at the get go and it sort of piled up into a great poo pile, so I quit and moved on. I have to say I’m pleased with the results even though I also know that I need some more practice.

Oh and by the way, the bunny caption contest winner has been picked. Tune in tomorrow.

From the Mind Files: Am I bugging you?

Am I bugging you?

I hate spreadsheets. They make my eyes go all wonky and I have to really concentrate to tell one line from the other. They remind me of my corporate drone days where I had to keep lots of these handy so that I could look extremley busy and important should anyone equally busy and important walk by.

These doodles reminded me of that time my ex husband had bought me one of those deluxe Franklin planners  and I did the dishonor of doodling in it alongside my schedule. He freaked out on me about it “How many sketchbooks do you have and you doodle in your planner, that just shows how irresponsible you really are, you need to take some things seriously, that’s your problem.” It’s probably no mistake that we were divorced some months later. Oh well…

student driver

The Little Black Book: Bunnies? Caption anyone?

Drawn at Cadillacs, low light, gel pen

The top page is just me messing around. The dude was drawn first as a warm up. The grim reaper was originally a squiggle until the squiggle became a cowl. There’s some notes about something I forgot to do yesterday (oops). Then it was on to…bunnies? What the hell is my thing about bunnies lately? And what is going on in that picture? Don’t ask me I just drew it. You decide, leave me a caption. The winner gets the bunnies, straight out of the Little Black Book.

the magic penny bank

To say that our children aren’t going to be burdened with our debt is to stick your head in the sand. All we can do is hope that they are in a better situation than us. If not, holy cow sonny we’re sorry.

Spreadsheet doodles: a personal aside

I don’t have any words for this one. It’s disjointed like I feel.

NASCAR nuts

drawn at the stable under low light conditions

I enjoy NASCAR. I know, I know, not an intellectual sport and certainly not green. But I like to watch it anyway. One of my favorite sounds is “Drivers, start your engines!” and favorite sights, the flyover. In fact I would like to have a flyover every morning before work and someone to sing the anthem and someone to do the benediction and then “Badger, start your engine!” Yeah, that would be awesome. I wonder if I could get some sponsors for my truck and who would they be? Any takers?

He’s still campaigning

yes he can

um… in case you can’t tell, that’s supposed to be Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi. I lost my good pen, if that’s any excuse.

enough said

Lots in the speech tonight, but this is the line that will sit in my mind:

“We are a nation that has seen promise amid peril and claimed opportunity from ordeal. Now we must be that nation again.”

Obama: I think I finally got it!

Thanks Tom Richmond!

Thanks to these tutorials I think this caricature might be a success. It’s still a work in progress, I struggle with consistency. See below for some of the earlier whacks at it. yikes…

Fat Guy In a Little Coat: We the consumers

it's getting tighter

Our country is like a Fat Guy In A Little Coat. Our economy needed a dash of reality. Without this recession we would have continued to allow banks to run wild. Now the spotlight is on, nice and bright. It’s on us too, our unlovely supersized lifestyles. None of us are guilt free in this. We’ve all got fuckin fat and we’re still trying to squeeze our fat asses into our shrunken economy. The message keeps coming at us, BUY! BUY! BUY! But in reality, what do we really need?

Don’t drop the baby!

still true today

I drew this cartoon for The Fulton Leader 5 years ago at the time of Iraq’s first free election after Saddam. At the time my friend Lex was doing his first tour there and my cousin was getting ready to go on hers. Needless to say I watched the news like a hawk more than I ever had before. I had maps of Iraq above my computer at work and I was continuously sniffing around on the internet news sites  trying to find out what was going on. What I did find was that information was scarce on purpose and that lies were passing for news. I guess that’s when my cartoon transformation began. Before I was just drawing goofy pictures, now I was an angry voice looking for blood.

Central Baptist Demolition

This is what is taking place across from my apartment:

Noisy, very noisy, and dusty

They are demolishing the Central Baptist building to build a bank. Telling, I think. Not that I ever really liked the building, it was square and intimidating.

It’s one virtue and the thing that I suppose I will miss are the arched windows along the side. When the stained glass windows were auctioned off the building took on another dimension as now I could see inside it, the beams in the ceiling and through it, the trees and sky on the other side. And besides all that I like arches, they seemed out of place amongst all the square corners.

These windows no longer exist

The congregation moved to an out of town location along with several congregations moving out of town onto park like settings, it’s the new suburbian push. Sort of like, get out of town while you still can.

The Stimulus: The Magic Penny Bank

You can drag an elephant to water but...

This may not be an accurate representation of how things really are, but hey, it’s a cartoon so some exageration is to be expected. It is the way it seems to me. I wonder how far to the right Obama is expected to bend in order to get even half of what he wants.

Now, about the stimulus, I’m not sure I get it. I mean, just look at it. It makes my brain hurt. With $1T in debt where does one get a loan for $819B?

Spreadsheet illumination: The eyes have it

Any face I draw always starts with the eyes. Two big globes that can be turned into any emotion. Then in comes the nose which denotes gender, nationality or if it’s going to be human at all. The mouth comes next, in this case I wanted big luscious lips to go with the large luminous eyes. Then the structure of the head, attach the ears, sketch in the neck and -walla!-  she’s done. Or is she? During the course of a very busy day I came back to her repeatedly adding the little details. The only thing I’m sorry about is that I drew her on a spreadsheet and it is near impossible to get those lines out of the way. Damn.

Digital Transition: Postponed

I've got those analog blues

I don’t know what exactly we’re going to do with all those rabbit ears and attenaes. I guess they could be recycled or become craft projects. They’ll probably go into the same closet as the VCR and record player right between  the 8-track stereo and your walkman on top of a stack of newspapers and magazines. Sometimes when I think I’ve caught up with technology I find out I’m already obsolete.

Random Acts: The Grocery List

yes, there is a difference between "stick butter" and "bowl butter"

“Bowl Butter” is for toast. “Stick Butter” is for baking because it’s easier to measure, at least that’s what Sweetie told me.  I’m way behind the curve on things like these. At least this list doesn’t contain tampons, kitty litter and toilet paper.

On Google Earth: Antelope in South Dakota

I mean, how cool is that? I haven’t seen an antelope in years! And here I am running past them in the virtual world. Go, check out our beautiful planet.

Rod Blabbermouth: The “Fix Is In”

He has more audacity than sense

Sometimes in politics you have to know when to keep your trap shut. Rod Blagojevich doesn’t have that ability. Doesn’t he realize that all that yapping is what got him into trouble in the first place? Day one of his impeachment and you couldn’t turn the channel without seeing Rod Blabbermouth. He has more audacity than sense.

Those of you who know me know that I am hopelessly addicted to twitter. One of my favorite tweets is BreakingNewsOn because they are usually right on top of the story and it is continuously updated with new info. This morning I found these tweets, brace yourself:

The first one is funny, but it’s definitely the last two that made me laugh out loud. President? Really? You betcha. Considering that the memories of people are generally short when it comes to news stories it is very possible. In the light of future disasters to come after all, this hoopla won’t look so bad. I just wonder how much he’d be willing to pay.

Ice Storm 2009

Got Milk?

We got lucky this time, the winter storm skirted much of Martin TN. Just north of us Fulton got slammed, they have NO power. Obion county to the west of us has also has widespread power outages. There has been a run on kerosene and generators. Kerosene is still in supply, but good luck finding a generator. The hotels here are full of weather refugees trying to find a warm place to stay. As I say, we got lucky.

Update 2:00pm: It seems like stations are now running out of kerosene and gas. The amount of weather refugees is growing. There are unconfirmed reports of scuffles breaking out at Obion County gas stations. People are getting cold and cranky. Also, the cartoon above is closer to reality than I would have thought.

Public Records: They are YOUR records

I never could solve those damned things

They really are YOUR records after all because they are PUBLIC records. You should be able to walk up to the clerk and ask to see them without unnecessary red tape or extra fees tacked on to what you already pay for with YOUR tax money.
From Newscoma:
* File paperwork for “Inspection/Duplication of Records Request” It’s more paperwork than you would think.
* Government offices can deny a records request
* They can charge you for labor charges. Let’s remember we are already paying salaries with tax dollars, but, yep, they can charge you an “hourly” wage.

I’m not sure about all of ya’ll, but I despise extra paperwork. Here we are in the digital age and we’re still filling out little pieces of paper to get more pieces of paper. I also hate hassles. If you make me jump through hoops to get something, I’ll probably reevaluate my plans for the day and say “ah, fuck it.” If this seems like a pain to me, imagine if you’re just some average, non media Joe and you NEED those records for court or what have you and what you get is a stack of paperwork. What if Joe needs those records, like needs them toot-sweet? Sorry mate they can take up to 7 days to get them to you. What if the clerk is an in-law of Joe and hates him anyhow. Request denied. See how easy it would be to marginalize a person with pieces of paper?

The Obama Inauguration Day

Bear with me as I learn to draw the next president

Today I awoke to the smell of coffee and cookies baking in the kitchen. There was a light skiff of snow on the ground and She was there. Today is inauguration day, but it feels more like Christmas morning.

Andrew Wyeth

Andrew Wyeth, Braids, Tempura, 1979

Andrew Wyeth has died at the ripe old age of 91. He was a popular and very successful painter which brought him as much criticism as it did fame. His detractors accused him of only being an illustrator and too commercially successful, therefore not a real artist. I personally enjoy his paintings for their detail, texture and empathy for the subject and think it’s a bum rap that true artists have to eat crayons like Van Gogh to get any props

Below are some quotes, because although he was a secretive man (Helga paintings not discovered till 1986, never seen by his wife?) he really liked to talk:

“When people want to bring sex into these images, OK, let ‘em,” … “The heart of the Helga series is that I was trying to unlock my emotions in capturing her essence, in getting her humanity down”

“I do an awful lot of thinking and dreaming about things in the past and the future — the timelessness of the rocks and the hills — all the people who have existed there,” he once said. “I prefer winter and fall, when you feel the bone structure in the landscape — the loneliness of it — the dead feeling of winter. Something waits beneath it; the whole story doesn’t show.

“I think anything like that — which is contemplative, silent, shows a person alone — people always feel is sad. Is it because we’ve lost the art of being alone?”

Billed to Death: feel the electricity

All I can say is that when me and Sweetie got our last electric bill we sat in stunned silence. The we burst into mutual profanity, “Holy fuckin’ shit, what the hell!? How!? Why?” Damn! Damn! Damn!” We’ve been robbed!”
After the dust settled Sweetie went on a caulking gun rampage and I started asking around.
What I found out is that that 20% increase from TVA looks really huge in the winter. Somehow 20% starts to look more like 50% and everybody is having high bills. For instance, in the apartment I used to live in, I never got a bill over $120 and that was dead winter. The Nice Young Man that lives there now says that it has doubled. I asked The Farmers and they had a $400 light bill (well, they do live in an old farm house). In fact most people I have talked to have complained that the cost is almost prohibitive. But there are odd exceptions: The Young Marrieds with their 20 computers that stay plugged in and on. The Neighbor Landlord who lives right next to us. Neither of them have these freakish bills. Why?

All I can hope is that next month our bill will actually be from the planet of reasonable numbers.

cowboy, jogger and?

This is what happens when I’m on hold and listening to “That Honkey Tonk Badonkey Donk” (which I hate with white hot passion). But the one thing that makes my ears friggin bleed are bad ring tones especially loud ones with bad resolution that sound like they are being pumped out of a tin can. Also, I don’t want to see every crap joke that your stupid crack head friend sent you. I really don’t want to see that Olive Oil and Popeye one again, EVER. In fact keep all cell phone porn away from me unless you’d like to wear your cell in a new and interesting place. No more need for that hands free device.

Corker takes a helicopter ride