Yellow page 12.17

This is the original (sorta) yellow page that sprouted several little stories

Santa’s Stingy Elf

This is the finished product that ran in The Press

Santa’s stingy elf

The Salvation Army requires a Social Security number before they give

Yes they really do require “papers” to apply charity.

Yellow page 12.15

The yellow notepad is starting to show some wear

8th District Domino Effect

John, Roy and Luther

Another yellow page

I was having some serious computing problems that day. grrrrr

Quicksand!

Just so you know that it IS ok to change your mind, especially when you are wrong.

Monster Tuesday Sketch

completed for Tuesday Sketch

The theme this week was monster under the bed. Here are some other examples.

find them all

I think the musical rabbit turned out nice

Money can’t fix everything

but what it can get I could use...

The yellow pages 11.17

The yellow pages 11.12

Veteran’s Day 09

A sincere thanks to all my veteran friends

Karzai

Of course he won again. What were you thinking

Doodles from 11.3.09

Hard times or Christmas too early?

You decide

To the rescue!

It doesn't seem to be working out well

I’ve been watching a lot of old movies lately Buster Keaton,  Harold Lloyd and naturally Charlie Chaplin (thank goodness for youtube). I’m a fan of the hapless hero.

Obstacle course

What's that saying, anything worth doing is hard?

Has anybody else noticed that our president is getting a little grayer at the temples?

Love hurts

Tennessee football is painful to watch this year

It doesn’t matter if it’s the Volunteers, the Titans or even Vandy. I can’t look.

Rumors of My Demise

Thompson's Grocery, Martin TN

This is the drawing I did for their t-shirts. A paying gig, ya dig?

Groucho Marx’s Birthday

Don't be hatin, I drew it in 15 minutes

Extinction

Dark before dawn

Pick a statistic and run with it

Joe Wilson: let me interject

I almost feel sorry for him, almost

I really don’t think his outburst was racially motivated and I also feel that the House Reprimand was a bit much. I think he just forgot his manners like people do when they get all fired up. On the other hand I think it’s weird how groups on the right are turning this ill mannered Joe into another populist hero. So what do we have? Joe the Plumber and Joe the Loudmouth.

debate, debate, stall!

Is being human a pre-existing condition?

I was going to write a big post about what all and so on. I just deleted it because it was too long to read and it was incoherent anyhow. Besides if the cartoon doesn’t say it all then it ain’t much is it.

21st century party line

Where all good rumors start

Right now in Hooterville the police and TBI are trying to capture a serial rapist who has struck 3 times in the last 2 months. Everyone is impatient and scared, particularly the young women who are potential victims. As you might imagine this sort of thing doesn’t happen in a place like Hooterville and everyone wants action. RIGHT NOW DAMMIT! Rumors have run rampant of additional attacks and the attacker’s identity. The police in conjunction with the TBI have been trying to quietly question suspects and gather evidence. Today however there was a leak and a man was named. If you had your ear to the “party line” you would have heard that a street was blocked off and a man was arrested by the name of ________ who is kin to _______and ________. Several phone calls were made to local traditional media outlets “Why aren’t you reporting this?” “Memphis is!” “A friend of a friend of mine sent me a facebook pic, it’s him.” “It’s on the topix website.” (which I will not link to thank you.) And so on and so on, you get the idea. Well, what those people didn’t understand was, 1st: the news stations that were posting to the web weren’t telling anything that wasn’t already well known, 2nd: The reliable sources (police, TBI) were not ready to release info at this time. So the local media waits for the phone call and I am practicing my standard answer in a situation such as this, “I don’t know, yes I work at a newspaper, but I don’t know. I’m in advertising.” Hopefully that will hold them off long enough for me to drink a beer in peace.

Monday, meh

stuff left over

Sorry, not feeling very brilliant today. I have the onset of a sinus infection and I feel grosser than I sound or look. The pic on the left was drawn under the heavy influence of drums. The one on the right isn’t really a drawing and you should probably ignore it. I mean, it does have some interesting elements that might could be used for something else particularly that mosque looking thing. Otherwise, meh.

Keep a civil tongue

I need better earplugs

Personally I don’t think we’ll have health reform. Public sentiment just isn’t what it needs to be for that to happen. It sucks, but that’s the truth. It’ll never happen here in America. Why? Because we’re stingy. That guy over there with a low wage job and no insurance? Ah screw him, it’s my money! Mine! All mine!

Look! A bunny!

purely random while I was making notes

These things just happen when you’re at a stand still thinking of cartoon ideas. Sometimes you have to turn loose for a minute and draw something silly.

Spreadsheet doodles

Some doodles collected over the week or so

These don’t have any firm meaning, they are simply expressions of fleeting feelings made during stolen minutes. I’m thinking of incorporating them into a larger piece. Any suggestions?

Town Hall Meeting

cue the firing squad

It’s pathetic what our political discourse has sunk to. I understand we don’t want to burden future generations, but something has to be done to fix the healthcare system. How are we going to do that when we can’t even be civil enough to debate our ideas clearly?

Spaghetti Western

The good, the bad, the ugly

I was raised on Roy Rogers, but Spaghetti Westerns are awesome.

They take care of their own

The Reading Railroad and Carl Perkins cut

They were cut from the budget because “they are not city organizations, we have to take care of our own.” On the other hand The Martin Business Association received no cuts at all and will continue to get their $5,000. While I understand that hard times call for drastic measures, this isn’t the way. Reading Railroad promotes literacy among Tennessee’s children and The Carl Perkins Center helps support families in preventing and dealing with child abuse. Child abuse and illeteracy are serious problems in West Tennessee. The citizens of Martin benefit from these volunteer based programs. To cut funding from them because they also serve other areas besides Martin is snobbish. It’s certainly no way to recruit businesses to our little town.

Buzzards of network news

beat the dead horse then eat it

Have you ever seen just one buzzard at a carcas? Me neither.

Friday Post

The Mouse and the Motorcycle

Mine won't even send or receive pics. dang

That top drawing I did trying to win this magazine for a year. Keeping my fingers crossed. The book is this one by Beverly Cleary. I also bought this, yay me!

I’ve actually sat at a table where everybody was on the phone in one way or another. It tends to stall face to face conversations. How often do we trade non virtual relationships for virtual ones?

Lazy Dog Day

One lazy mutt

This is the way I have felt all day. It’s been gloomy and rainy all day, the perfect day for a long nap. Or maybe a book and a nap. Or a book, snack and a nap.

Inharmonious

a blah day

Ever have one of those days? Today I just want to curl up on the couch and stare at bad TV. It all started when my pants no longer fit me. It just went down from there. I’d be up for some savagery, but I don’t think I have the spleen for it today.

Ready For Take Off!

self portrait, drawn with my new astronaut ink

40 years ago Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong landed on the moon, bounced around, took some sample moon rocks and inspired a nation that was at that time tearing itself apart. It was 1969. There was a lot going on.

All my life I have been fascinated with space. What’s out there? Who’s out there? When I saw the first pictures of the surface of Mars beamed back from the rovers I was thrilled. I was gazing at the horizon of a whole other planet.

There’s a new push to land a man on Mars. Can it be done? Should it be done? On one hand, yes it should and one day we will be able to. Think of all the technology that came from our pursuit of the moon. On the other hand, no, we have a huge national debt and problems galore here on Earth that technology can’t solve.

Friday post

what you get when you scan money

This warning popped up when I was scanning a $20 dollar bill for an advertisement. Yikes.

Me and my favorite pen, ready for space travel

Remember my favorite pen? It lives on thanks to these refills.  The pressurized ink comes out smooth and I can draw under water now. Squirrel Queen was quick to point out though that the paper would only get wet.

A wise latina once told me…

Sotomayor: self proclaimed wise woman

Well, she probably is smarter than me considering she’s a judge and all, I just have problems with people who claim to be wise. It just seems wrong and suspect to me. It reeks of self importance and pride.The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.” William Shakespeare

Dreaming in Technicolor

and time slips away

It seems like we are always wanting to be somewhere else. We’re apt to drift off at any moment into a technicolor daydream.

Tennessee Gun Law: One hot mess

The more I read the less I know

Then again most legislature is confusing, but the TN Gun Law is beyond confusing. It’s a hot mess. “You can take your gun here, but not there and only at certain times and phases of the moon. Then again, municipalities and owners of private property have the power to make their own rules concerning carrying a concealed weapon. So who really knows? Not that it concerns me in particular, I don’t carry, but I do see how this could turn into a “don’t ask, don’t tell” situation when carrying hand guns. I think that is probably already going on more than we know.

Gone hiking the Appalachian trail

Sanford goes a courting

My friend Wendell calls it “sparking” which makes me laugh. In my opinion Sanford is a sap. He even sounds like a sap, mooning over some girl like a love sick teenager. I wonder if he used the same lines when he was courting his wife.

Requiem for a pen

stranger in a strange town

I think my favorite ball point pen is about to bite the dust. I got it free at a seminar in a goody bag from the Herald Citizen. It’s heavy and makes nice heavy lines. Sigh…I can refill, but it will never be the same.

Sometimes you gotta

...grab a marker

What’s that about idle hands? Oh yeah, things get marked on. Wide black marker and highlighters on scratch paper. It’s a freakin’ masterpiece!

Promises, Promises

Well, it was a tall order to begin with

The man’s not a miracle worker and some things just proved to be impossible for him to fix. Other things he has flat out reneged on.

Racist Tennessee

Is this the best we can do?

It’s one thing to hear a racist or discriminatory joke from a crony at the bar, it’s totally different when it’s a forward from someone connected to your state government.  Whether you are a Goforth, Graves or a Hobbs it’s unprofessional. It makes our whole state look like a bunch of clod hopping idiots. We wonder why our state ranks at the bottom of education and companies only want to do business with us because of low wages? It’s because Tennesseans still think racist jokes are funny and cute and we forward them to all our funny and cute friends. Why would anyone invest in such a state of unprofessional clodhoppers. I’m putting all state employees on notice. Do better.

Mother Earth Blues

didn't your mama teach you better?

I can’t understand why the same people who would never throw a beer can at their Mama gladly toss it in the ditch. It’s gross and tacky. Cut it out.

Bicycle

a dour bicycle rider

I’ve been working on this doodle for most of the week on and off and just colorized it today. Now before you say anything, no, I didn’t use any photo reference for the bike so I don’t know if they came with kickstands or not. Don’t judge me on the rider’s outfit either, I just made it up.

1 Foot Wide City Limits

Martin annexes the noodle to get the meatball

This cartoon may be a little obscure to anyone outside of Martin TN, so I’ll attempt to explain. Our electric company (Weakley County Municipal Electric System or WCMES) bought some land outside of Martin city limits to build their new main offices. Their sewer line runs 1.75 miles back to the city of Martin’s sewer system. So in response the mayor and aldermen decided that they would annex a 1 foot by 1.75 mile long strip down Hwy 22 up to and including the land that the new WCMES building sits on. The City of Martin will get an extra $70,000 dollars in property tax revenue. Now that’s what I call having your noodle and eating your meatball too.

Pictures what I took

musicians’ shadows on a brick wall

My Left Foot

bad phot, good painting?

smoky bar

fur stole? dead cat?

I really should apologize for that last pic. I know, disgusting. I was out taking pictures of the illegal dumping back behind our more fashionable downtown areas. I really did think it was a dead cat. On closer inspection it turned out to be an old fur stole. The white stuff is batting. I don’t know who is trashing the area, but I do know that it isn’t all the fault of outside people (if’n you know what I mean).

Kim Jong Il: Beat on the Brat

Beat on the brat with a baseball bat, oh yeah

Um, I don’t think sanctions are working. One of these days we are going to have to decide what to do with this guy. It ain’t going to be pretty either way.

The Sanctity of Marriage: Prop 8

aw aren't those two lovely

If heterosexual couples can ruin each other’s lives why can’t homosexual people be allowed to do the same?

It’s how you run the race

It's your party, cry if you want to

This is the very picture of our local political scene here in West TN. It’s contentious to say the least. Since the statewide Republican victory in the house and senate several county election administrators have been shown the door. Democrats have taken a beating. But like they say in NASCAR, “It’s nothing personal, it’s just racing.” Or as the local chair of the Republican party said “…I’ll leave you with this comment from our President, Mr. O’bama, when being criticized for some of his decisions – “Elections have consequences.”

Farm Noir

Nothing to sneeze at

Seems like everything I hear is bad news. Job losses, job losses, job losses, SWINE FLU! OMG WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!! I can only listen to that noise for so long.  I’m not going to sit around and worry myself into a tizzy worrying about what might or might not happen. I’m going to keep drawing silly pictures for you to look at whether I have a job here or somewhere else, I apologize ahead of time for the fry grease.

The Demon Carousel

No! No! Daddy I don't wanna ride!

I saw this Demon Carousel at The Iris Festival held in Dresden this weekend. Carnival rides are fascinating, I thinks it’s the mix of the threat of danger and the promise of fun.

Rocking out: 21st century

drawn under the influence of some serious noise

I had the pleasure (and pain*) of rocking out with InfantDecibal and The Vent Depart two local bands that played The Stable last Saturday. I really did enjoy seeing these guys play, I just wish there had been a bigger crowd to see them. They put themselves out there and played hard, I’ll post a pic of one of their drum sticks later. It is demolished.

*I say pain because my ears rang all day Sunday.

SWINE FLU!!!!!!

OH NOES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Could this be one of those media driven events? I wondered that, what with the constant 24/7 coverage. But we’re like that as a people really. No worries though, knowing us we’ll be freaking out about something else in a couple days or so.

The Funk: Pass it on

showing the improper use of a kleenex

Nearly everybody I work with is sick with some malady. I just hope I can manage to escape.

Twitter: And we’re off to the races!

I saw a breaking story today out of Arizona about a school shooting today (which hadn’t actually happened) which made me think about the way our new media works. It’s twitterific! The speedier the delivery, it seems that there is less fact checking. Which is why I still prefer to wait until the story settles into place. Otherwise it’s all a big mess of jumbled facts and messed up figures.

It’s a Tea Pary!

no not that one

Well, we had a little tea party here. I was not in attendance naturally. I don’t do rallies as a rule. I don’t like crowds, especially when they are worked up about something. I wasn’t real sure what the “tea party” was all about anyway. My basic understanding was that it had something to do with feeling over taxed and that they were miffed about the stimulus money and where it was going. As for me, I don’t make enough money to even pay in and if you’ve read this blog for any length of time you would know that I’ve been squawking about our deficit for a long time. So why all the rage now? Just now? Where was the anger when our deficit exploded into the trillion dollar range? Just wondering.

HB0489: Retardation in action

Oh Tennessee...

I’m speechless. Here let’s look at the last 2 months in gun violence and then ask ourselves if our right to bear arms supersedes someone else’s right to live.

Basketball is over!

well, for the college level anyhow

My condolences to Michigan State, at least I think they were there. Congrats to the Tar Heels. Now on to baseball. To me spring doesn’t start till opening day. It’s time to see what the rookies have got and if that trade is going to pay off. But the one thing that all baseball fans have on their minds is, will my team make it this year, or will they bomb like last year? C’mon Braves don’t break my heart again this year!

Are you a Democrat or a Mouse?

This dedicated to all those Democrats who are entirely too chummy with the GOP because they don’t want to lose any Republican votes for them. They forget that it is they who lost us Democrat leadership in the House and Senate here in TN. The new anti gun control laws? Their fault. The utter chaos that the TNDP is in? Also their fault. Why would you even put yourself out there as a Democrat (or not, in the case of local Democrats who don’t want to be identified as such) and take the money, time and other support from your Democrat constituents if you are just going to go all weak in the knees in front of a Republican and cave? It’s disgusting and cowardly. I know there will be some that would say “What do I know?” Well, I’ll tell you what I know, I’m pissed. And so are some other Democrats I know. So let me ask you, Are you a Democrat or a mouse?

Thanks again Tom Richmond

Obama in color

You’ve got to love a guy that gives you step by step instructions. It’s just like having the professor in the room with you. Of course I screwed up my first attempt, see below:

cartoon for sunshine week

I missed a couple of steps at the get go and it sort of piled up into a great poo pile, so I quit and moved on. I have to say I’m pleased with the results even though I also know that I need some more practice.

Oh and by the way, the bunny caption contest winner has been picked. Tune in tomorrow.

student driver

The Little Black Book: Bunnies? Caption anyone?

Drawn at Cadillacs, low light, gel pen

The top page is just me messing around. The dude was drawn first as a warm up. The grim reaper was originally a squiggle until the squiggle became a cowl. There’s some notes about something I forgot to do yesterday (oops). Then it was on to…bunnies? What the hell is my thing about bunnies lately? And what is going on in that picture? Don’t ask me I just drew it. You decide, leave me a caption. The winner gets the bunnies, straight out of the Little Black Book.

the magic penny bank

To say that our children aren’t going to be burdened with our debt is to stick your head in the sand. All we can do is hope that they are in a better situation than us. If not, holy cow sonny we’re sorry.

Spreadsheet doodles: a personal aside

I don’t have any words for this one. It’s disjointed like I feel.

NASCAR nuts

drawn at the stable under low light conditions

I enjoy NASCAR. I know, I know, not an intellectual sport and certainly not green. But I like to watch it anyway. One of my favorite sounds is “Drivers, start your engines!” and favorite sights, the flyover. In fact I would like to have a flyover every morning before work and someone to sing the anthem and someone to do the benediction and then “Badger, start your engine!” Yeah, that would be awesome. I wonder if I could get some sponsors for my truck and who would they be? Any takers?

He’s still campaigning

yes he can

um… in case you can’t tell, that’s supposed to be Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi. I lost my good pen, if that’s any excuse.

enough said

Lots in the speech tonight, but this is the line that will sit in my mind:

“We are a nation that has seen promise amid peril and claimed opportunity from ordeal. Now we must be that nation again.”

Obama: I think I finally got it!

Thanks Tom Richmond!

Thanks to these tutorials I think this caricature might be a success. It’s still a work in progress, I struggle with consistency. See below for some of the earlier whacks at it. yikes…

Fat Guy In a Little Coat: We the consumers

it's getting tighter

Our country is like a Fat Guy In A Little Coat. Our economy needed a dash of reality. Without this recession we would have continued to allow banks to run wild. Now the spotlight is on, nice and bright. It’s on us too, our unlovely supersized lifestyles. None of us are guilt free in this. We’ve all got fuckin fat and we’re still trying to squeeze our fat asses into our shrunken economy. The message keeps coming at us, BUY! BUY! BUY! But in reality, what do we really need?

Don’t drop the baby!

still true today

I drew this cartoon for The Fulton Leader 5 years ago at the time of Iraq’s first free election after Saddam. At the time my friend Lex was doing his first tour there and my cousin was getting ready to go on hers. Needless to say I watched the news like a hawk more than I ever had before. I had maps of Iraq above my computer at work and I was continuously sniffing around on the internet news sites  trying to find out what was going on. What I did find was that information was scarce on purpose and that lies were passing for news. I guess that’s when my cartoon transformation began. Before I was just drawing goofy pictures, now I was an angry voice looking for blood.

Central Baptist Demolition

This is what is taking place across from my apartment:

Noisy, very noisy, and dusty

They are demolishing the Central Baptist building to build a bank. Telling, I think. Not that I ever really liked the building, it was square and intimidating.

It’s one virtue and the thing that I suppose I will miss are the arched windows along the side. When the stained glass windows were auctioned off the building took on another dimension as now I could see inside it, the beams in the ceiling and through it, the trees and sky on the other side. And besides all that I like arches, they seemed out of place amongst all the square corners.

These windows no longer exist

The congregation moved to an out of town location along with several congregations moving out of town onto park like settings, it’s the new suburbian push. Sort of like, get out of town while you still can.

The Stimulus: The Magic Penny Bank

You can drag an elephant to water but...

This may not be an accurate representation of how things really are, but hey, it’s a cartoon so some exageration is to be expected. It is the way it seems to me. I wonder how far to the right Obama is expected to bend in order to get even half of what he wants.

Now, about the stimulus, I’m not sure I get it. I mean, just look at it. It makes my brain hurt. With $1T in debt where does one get a loan for $819B?

Spreadsheet illumination: The eyes have it

Any face I draw always starts with the eyes. Two big globes that can be turned into any emotion. Then in comes the nose which denotes gender, nationality or if it’s going to be human at all. The mouth comes next, in this case I wanted big luscious lips to go with the large luminous eyes. Then the structure of the head, attach the ears, sketch in the neck and -walla!-  she’s done. Or is she? During the course of a very busy day I came back to her repeatedly adding the little details. The only thing I’m sorry about is that I drew her on a spreadsheet and it is near impossible to get those lines out of the way. Damn.

Digital Transition: Postponed

I've got those analog blues

I don’t know what exactly we’re going to do with all those rabbit ears and attenaes. I guess they could be recycled or become craft projects. They’ll probably go into the same closet as the VCR and record player right between  the 8-track stereo and your walkman on top of a stack of newspapers and magazines. Sometimes when I think I’ve caught up with technology I find out I’m already obsolete.

Random Acts: The Grocery List

yes, there is a difference between "stick butter" and "bowl butter"

“Bowl Butter” is for toast. “Stick Butter” is for baking because it’s easier to measure, at least that’s what Sweetie told me.  I’m way behind the curve on things like these. At least this list doesn’t contain tampons, kitty litter and toilet paper.

On Google Earth: Antelope in South Dakota

I mean, how cool is that? I haven’t seen an antelope in years! And here I am running past them in the virtual world. Go, check out our beautiful planet.

Rod Blabbermouth: The “Fix Is In”

He has more audacity than sense

Sometimes in politics you have to know when to keep your trap shut. Rod Blagojevich doesn’t have that ability. Doesn’t he realize that all that yapping is what got him into trouble in the first place? Day one of his impeachment and you couldn’t turn the channel without seeing Rod Blabbermouth. He has more audacity than sense.

Those of you who know me know that I am hopelessly addicted to twitter. One of my favorite tweets is BreakingNewsOn because they are usually right on top of the story and it is continuously updated with new info. This morning I found these tweets, brace yourself:

The first one is funny, but it’s definitely the last two that made me laugh out loud. President? Really? You betcha. Considering that the memories of people are generally short when it comes to news stories it is very possible. In the light of future disasters to come after all, this hoopla won’t look so bad. I just wonder how much he’d be willing to pay.

Ice Storm 2009

Got Milk?

We got lucky this time, the winter storm skirted much of Martin TN. Just north of us Fulton got slammed, they have NO power. Obion county to the west of us has also has widespread power outages. There has been a run on kerosene and generators. Kerosene is still in supply, but good luck finding a generator. The hotels here are full of weather refugees trying to find a warm place to stay. As I say, we got lucky.

Update 2:00pm: It seems like stations are now running out of kerosene and gas. The amount of weather refugees is growing. There are unconfirmed reports of scuffles breaking out at Obion County gas stations. People are getting cold and cranky. Also, the cartoon above is closer to reality than I would have thought.

Public Records: They are YOUR records

I never could solve those damned things

They really are YOUR records after all because they are PUBLIC records. You should be able to walk up to the clerk and ask to see them without unnecessary red tape or extra fees tacked on to what you already pay for with YOUR tax money.
From Newscoma:
* File paperwork for “Inspection/Duplication of Records Request” It’s more paperwork than you would think.
* Government offices can deny a records request
* They can charge you for labor charges. Let’s remember we are already paying salaries with tax dollars, but, yep, they can charge you an “hourly” wage.

I’m not sure about all of ya’ll, but I despise extra paperwork. Here we are in the digital age and we’re still filling out little pieces of paper to get more pieces of paper. I also hate hassles. If you make me jump through hoops to get something, I’ll probably reevaluate my plans for the day and say “ah, fuck it.” If this seems like a pain to me, imagine if you’re just some average, non media Joe and you NEED those records for court or what have you and what you get is a stack of paperwork. What if Joe needs those records, like needs them toot-sweet? Sorry mate they can take up to 7 days to get them to you. What if the clerk is an in-law of Joe and hates him anyhow. Request denied. See how easy it would be to marginalize a person with pieces of paper?

The Obama Inauguration Day

Bear with me as I learn to draw the next president

Today I awoke to the smell of coffee and cookies baking in the kitchen. There was a light skiff of snow on the ground and She was there. Today is inauguration day, but it feels more like Christmas morning.

Andrew Wyeth

Andrew Wyeth, Braids, Tempura, 1979

Andrew Wyeth has died at the ripe old age of 91. He was a popular and very successful painter which brought him as much criticism as it did fame. His detractors accused him of only being an illustrator and too commercially successful, therefore not a real artist. I personally enjoy his paintings for their detail, texture and empathy for the subject and think it’s a bum rap that true artists have to eat crayons like Van Gogh to get any props

Below are some quotes, because although he was a secretive man (Helga paintings not discovered till 1986, never seen by his wife?) he really liked to talk:

“When people want to bring sex into these images, OK, let ‘em,” … “The heart of the Helga series is that I was trying to unlock my emotions in capturing her essence, in getting her humanity down”

“I do an awful lot of thinking and dreaming about things in the past and the future — the timelessness of the rocks and the hills — all the people who have existed there,” he once said. “I prefer winter and fall, when you feel the bone structure in the landscape — the loneliness of it — the dead feeling of winter. Something waits beneath it; the whole story doesn’t show.

“I think anything like that — which is contemplative, silent, shows a person alone — people always feel is sad. Is it because we’ve lost the art of being alone?”

Billed to Death: feel the electricity

All I can say is that when me and Sweetie got our last electric bill we sat in stunned silence. The we burst into mutual profanity, “Holy fuckin’ shit, what the hell!? How!? Why?” Damn! Damn! Damn!” We’ve been robbed!”
After the dust settled Sweetie went on a caulking gun rampage and I started asking around.
What I found out is that that 20% increase from TVA looks really huge in the winter. Somehow 20% starts to look more like 50% and everybody is having high bills. For instance, in the apartment I used to live in, I never got a bill over $120 and that was dead winter. The Nice Young Man that lives there now says that it has doubled. I asked The Farmers and they had a $400 light bill (well, they do live in an old farm house). In fact most people I have talked to have complained that the cost is almost prohibitive. But there are odd exceptions: The Young Marrieds with their 20 computers that stay plugged in and on. The Neighbor Landlord who lives right next to us. Neither of them have these freakish bills. Why?

All I can hope is that next month our bill will actually be from the planet of reasonable numbers.

cowboy, jogger and?

This is what happens when I’m on hold and listening to “That Honkey Tonk Badonkey Donk” (which I hate with white hot passion). But the one thing that makes my ears friggin bleed are bad ring tones especially loud ones with bad resolution that sound like they are being pumped out of a tin can. Also, I don’t want to see every crap joke that your stupid crack head friend sent you. I really don’t want to see that Olive Oil and Popeye one again, EVER. In fact keep all cell phone porn away from me unless you’d like to wear your cell in a new and interesting place. No more need for that hands free device.

Corker takes a helicopter ride

TVA: A History of Negligence

Merry Christmas

happiness is contagious: well hell it’s worth a shot

University of Tennessee Budget Cuts

Blagojevich

The sheer audacity of it all.

Henry Paulson to the Rescue!

(or maybe not)

Minuscule: Let’s race!

I don’t even remember where I came across this stuff, but I absolutely love it. The animation against the real footage. The charm. The sound. Love it. Here’s the official site http://www.minuscule.tv/

Thanksgiving: Gobble Gobble Gobble

Where Halloween is the kick off to the “Party Season”, Thanksgiving is half time. It’s a time to reflect, pause, chill out and collect yourself for the next big push. Because after Thanksgiving you won’t have time to breathe, because OMG! Christmas is right around the corner! AAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Oh, and while I’m on the subject, I’d like to send a message to all those over eager retail marketing people, Stop skipping Thanksgiving just because you can’t think of a way to make it sell your crap. Please.

Hillary Clinton: Secretary of State

Herding Cats: Yee-Haw

I laughed so hard i snorted. Reminds me of Christmas with the Mascos, trying to get all 4 cats in the Christmas photo. Catnip is a godsend. That’s all I got. I’m watching it again.

Chicken Little stock market

Obama in the White House!

I could hear people cheering all over town. Awesome.

Newscoma and I: The doodle game

The doodle game goes like this, someone has to start it out with a line or shape to start the drawing off. Sometimes “the starter” will have something in mind, most times they are just trying to stump you. They then pass the drawing on to the next person. (This game can encompass any number of players.) The drawing is passed around or back and forth until it is declared to be too silly or wrong to continue and is declared done. This game can go on for hours (or days) as it did for me and Newscoma.

Mabel and Kid Rock

Yay! Obama! (and Diggler of course)

the palin, bullwinkle and rocky show

Newscoma did the eyes and ears on Mabel, the hair on Kid Rock, the nose ears and mouth on Obama, and I can’t really remember about the Palin page.

Emmanuel Guibert: Alan’s War

The entire graphic novel is illustrated this way. I’m tempted to try it.

From FirstSecondBooks:

“When I was eighteen, Uncle Sam told me he’d like me to put on a uniform and go off to fight a guy by the name of Adolf. So I did.”

When Alan Cope joined the army and went off to fight in World War II, he had no idea what he was getting into. This graphic memoir is the story of his life during wartime, a story told with poignant intimacy and matchless artistry.

Across a generation, a deep friendship blossomed between Alan Cope and author/artist Emmanuel Guibert. From it, Alan’s War was born: a graphic novel that is a deeply personal and moving experience, straight from the heart of the Greatest Generation; a unique piece of WWII literature; and a ground-breaking graphic memoir.

Update: and here is the artist singing a song from Alan’s War

The twitch

When conversation lags or becomes uncomfortable (especially in this highly charged political season) it’s nice to have a pen and extra business cards. (Sort of like Gaping Void, but not really. There’s a big difference in style.)

America votes: 13 more days of rubbish

13 more days and we won’t have to hear about Joe Six-Pack or Joe the plumber anymore. It’ll all be over but the crying. Hopefully I’ll be celebrating a Democratic victory, but even if we lose America will have made a decision and we can all move on past all the stupid catch phrases we’ve been subjected to over the last year.

McCain & Keating

Gosh, anyone remember the Savings & Loan debacle? Talk about having bad associations.

universal declaration of human rights

The animation in this is so super smooth. Animation by Seth Brau. H/T to boing boing.

winner winner, chicken dinner

be there!

ignorance is bliss

In case you’ve wondered where I’ve been (or maybe not). I’ve been on vacation. I’ve been watching the news, but I’ve been a little too blissed. But every bubble must burst. Today I’m reading that the anti Obama crowd is getting like the crowd in Frankenstein all they need is some pitchforks and torches. WTF?

Our market is crap. Our money is worthless. Investments are bad gambles. I’d have better luck at a poker table and I suck at poker.

But despite all that I feel good.

Sarah Palin: Winks at America

I missed watching the VP debate
last night. God a’mighty I missed the wink-a-thon goshdarnit.

Spreadsheet Illumination

This ended up in the margin of a spreadsheet I was working from. I wonder if this is how manuscript illumination originated, a bored monk and a wide margin.

Ben Franklin or George Washington?

If you could call one up to help us with our numerous national catastrophes which would it be?

Feel Good Friday: Looney Tunes

This is such a part of my upbringing. Now you know what’s wrong with me.

BAIL! BAIL!

Ever just want to reach into the TV and slap a bitch? Have you ever pulled a muscle from swearing. I have, but no worries, the doctor says I’ll be fine.

On the good side I found this over at Ginger’s place. I have to say that they are by far the two sexiest dudes. Here’s an excerpt from the Entertainment Weekly article:

There are a lot of issues in this election. The biggest one right now is the economy.
STEWART: We were in this huge credit crisis, out of money. Then the Fed goes, We’ll give you a trillion dollars, and all of a sudden Wall Street is like, ”I can’t believe we got away with it!” Can you imagine if someone said, ”I shouldn’t have bought that sports car because it means I can’t have my house,” and the bank just said, ”All right, you can have your house. And you know what? Keep the car.” [He throws up his arms joyfully and shouts] ”Yeaaaaah, I get to keep the car! Wait, do I have to give the money back?” ”No, it doesn’t matter.” ”Yeah, I’m gonna get another car! I’m gonna do the same thing the same way, except twice as f—ed up!”
COLBERT: The idea that Lehman Brothers doesn’t get any money and AIG does reminds me very much of ”Iran is a mortal enemy because they have not achieved a nuclear weapon. But North Korea is a country we can work with, because they have a nuclear weapon.” The idea is, Get big or go home. How big can you f— up? Can you f— up so bad that you would ruin the world economy? If it’s just 15,000 who are out of jobs, no. You have to actually be a global f—up to get any help.

Wall Street to Main Street

Well, we’re at day whatever it is of our national financial crisis. They’re about out of gas in Nashville.
As taxpayers we can expect that we’ll end up holding the bill.
“Hundreds of billions” to quote the above article. Our national debt is already pretty massive, to the tune of over 9 trillion. It’s a number that is so big it makes my poor little head swimmy. So bear with me if I seem a little grim on a Friday.

Flamingo

This is the absolute tackiest thing that I own. Ain’t it a beaut?!

AIG Bailout

Glad I never took out a 401K. Apparently this AIG company is so big that its tentacles are entangled in every market in the world. If AIG were to fail it would be a world wide economic disaster (this according to market specialists, personally I don’t know). Lovable Liberal has a good post on this topic.

Random drawing

I did this just as a random sort of thing. It’s a break from politics

Lipstick on a Pig

Lipstick on a pig, I know, I know, it’s serious. Or is it? All this hype over supposed insults and the like is a mere sideshow. What we need (as far as knowledge of issues and candidate stances) is steak, what we’re getting is cotton candy. All fluff no substance. All our news is packaged in sound bites. Why? Is the MSM guilty of elitism? Do they think that Americans are so stoo-pid that we wouldn’t understand real news? That we don’t deserve it because we’re the MTV generation? I think it’s a shame that I have to scour through gobs of news outlets just to get something that kinda resembles news.

Soybean Festival

You wouldn’t believe the crap you can make from the humble soybean. It happens to be the cash crop here right up there with corn and tobacco. This is Soybean Festival week kind of a county fair/ block party. If you happen to be in the Hooterville area and know me at all I won’t be hard to find. Look for me somewhere between Church St. and the BBQ cook off. Yummy.

Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin Vice Presidential nominee

It’s not her lack of experience that freaks me out, it’s her stance on pretty much everything (anti-science, anti-environment, anti-choice, anti-press freedom). The problem is, she seems so nice, so average. But ask yourself this how many “average hockey moms” do you see running for mayor, running an oil commission, being governor and becoming a vice presidential nominee? I’d wager not so many.

My knee jerk reaction to her appointment was “oh come on GOP, you can do better than that, how cheap.” My initial thought was that it was all a ploy to get the Hillary vote. But surely former Hillary supporters are smarter than that?

Hillary in Denver

Cat & Mouse

The Miracle at Pump 5

I saw this and thought that I had finally went round the bend. Unfortunately I wasn’t. It drives me nuts when people treat God like Santa Claus.

As Twyman prayed, onlookers stared; but the six-member prayer group kept going. Soon they were singing, “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands,” with an added verse of “He’s got the lower gas prices in His hands.”

Does God care what we pay for the oil that we are using to destroy the Earth? It’s time we got a grip and realized that Earth is the only home we got and we better take care of it. Praying for lower gas prices don’t cut it my brother!

Bar Art

I have a bad habit of doodling on bar coasters. I color in the letters mostly, but this coaster had all that empty space.

Fechheimer: The economy in a nose dive

Fechheimer (or better known here as Martin Manufacturing) a sewing factory that made uniforms, will be closing it’s doors in approx. 60 days. The majority of the 160 workers are women, some are elderly, a large percentage are single moms. I know what it feels like to watch the maintenance guys start to band up the equipment, I’ve been there twice. It doesn’t feel very good when you’re single with no responsibilities, but I can’t imagine the panic when you have kids to feed.

How to get tased

Although I understand where this article is coming from, I think it’s a good way to get your ass tased. It’s also incomplete advice. What if it’s dark? What if you are on a dark country road? My suggestion would be always trust the short hairs on the back of your neck ladies and gents. I say and gents because rape, murder and robbery are not exclusive to women traveling alone. As if.

Yorch+

I really love this artist’s work. Images that are powerful and very well drawn. I just wish my Spanish was better.

Go look.

Republican Ennui

Can you actually die from ennui?

Local Yokels: Taxation consternation

Up, up and away!

Last time in Clerkenwell

This song will stick in your head, you’ve been warned. Directed by Budovskiy. If you liked that, here’s more!

John McCain: in the open

self portrait 2

Originally uploaded by badger beth

I am not very pretty today. As you can see I am wearing my favorite pearl snap western shirt, the only pair of pants that’s not too tight or falling off of me and flip flops. A hair cut would help, but that would still leave the wardrobe.

On the political front, have you read John McCain’s web site?

Here he is on balancing the budget.

Here’s an excerpt, a real doozy,

A one-year spending pause. Freeze non-defense, non-veterans discretionary spending for a year and use those savings for deficit reduction. A one-year pause in the growth of discretionary spending will be imposed to allow for a comprehensive review of all spending programs. After the completion of a comprehensive review of all programs, projects and activities of the federal government, we will propose a plan to modernize, streamline, consolidate, reprioritize and, where needed, terminate individual programs.

And here he is on the military.

And another excerpt of course,

…John McCain believes that the answer to these challenges is not to roll back our overseas commitments. The size and composition of our armed forces must be matched to our nation’s defense requirements. As requirements expand in the global war on terrorism so must our Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, and Coast Guard be reconfigured to meet these new challenges. John McCain thinks it is especially important to increase the size of the Army and Marine Corps to defend against the threats we face today.

One more issue he feels passionately about is the second ammendment. On which I can agree with except for the following,

Assault Weapons
John McCain opposes restrictions on so-called “assault rifles” and voted consistently against such bans. Most recently he opposed an amendment to extend a ban on 19 specific firearms, and others with similar characteristics.

Importation of High Capacity Magazines
John McCain opposes bans on the importation of certain types of ammunition magazines and has voted against such limitations.

Compare and contrast, talk amongst yourselves. Are his ideas sound? Here, read some more.

Being secure in your geekity

These guys are really secure in themselves. You’d have to be to be out dancing in the front driveway of a suburb in your house coat.

Knoxville church shooting

There’s been a lot said about the shooting that happened in a Knoxville church this weekend. Some want to blame the conservative media for making this liberal church a target. Some blame the lack of gun control. I’ve even seen comments that suggested that this church asked for it. (I know right?!)

The thing is this happened at a church where there was no expectation of violence (much like a school shooting). The congregation was kicked back enjoying a children’s program when a madman burst into the sanctuary with a shotgun and shot 5 people. Two of those people are dead. As far as I know this kind of thing has never happened before actually it has, several times.

The fact that they were liberal matters as much in this situation as the gunman being a truck driver.

NYPD: Tackling bicyclist

I find this pretty remarkable. Nobody else tackled. Why this guy?

The biker was arrested and held for 26 hrs (oddly enough charged for attempted assault and resisting arrest)

The officer was stripped of his badge and gun pending investigation.

This ride is for a thing that is called Critical Mass which is a mass bike ride to promote environmental awareness and in most cases the rights of cyclists. 200 people were arrested during the ride that took place during the 2004 Republican convention.

I don’t know what took place before the rider came into the frame, but I do know that he wasn’t in line to hit the officer. In fact the officer starts moving in for an intercept before our biker gets there. It looked like a scene from Wild America.

mr. mouse: bachelor extraordinaire!

“uh-oh, look who’s got a case of the mondays!”

This cartoon dedicated to Phil Grahm

This is pretty rough, sorry. You can tell it was done in a hurry from all the eraser marks and the crossed out misspelling. In case you don’t know, Phil Grahm was the McCain adviser that said that the recession was all in our heads and that we should quit whining about it. Ummm…okay Phil baby, whatever you say. I can tell he’s never been to West TN.

Obama in Berlin

The above screenshot comes from the live MSNBC broadcast. Live from Berlin. You can just make out the top of his head obscured by the adoring crowd. While I was watching the speech I couldn’t help but think that I wasn’t listening to a candidate, I was listening to the president of the United States.

Update: Here is the transcript

Ode to Joy! With Beaker

Feel free to sing along. The words  are meep meepmeep…

John McCain: Is still in the race

…but he just can’t turn heads like Obama. Well, let’s face it, Obama is doing more interesting things in his campaign. He’s gone to Europe, Iraq and the West Bank. McCain, well he’s been to King’s Supermarket
in Bethlehem PA. I don’t know who’s running John McCain’s campaign, but he’d be fired if it was me.

The Olympics Monkey

The animation is done by Damon Albarn and Jamie Hewlett, you know the guys from the Gorillaz. Enjoy. In other Olympics news Iraq has been banned from attending the Beijing games. American swimmer Jessica Hardy tests positive.

Estelle Getty: Ain’t no quitter

By now you’ve already heard that “Sophia” has passed away at 84 years old. She was a woman of grit and determination. This from CNN,

It (Golden Girls) culminated a long struggle for success during which Getty worked low-paying office jobs to help support her family while she tried to make it as a stage actress.

“I knew I could be seduced by success in another field, so I’d say, ‘Don’t promote me, please,”‘ she recalled.

See, long struggles pay off if you don’t quit. Something I need to remember.

Blade Britain

from The Daily Mail

In America you’re likely to get shot. In Britain there’s a greater likelihood that you will be stabbed. The story is here at The Daily Mail. I came to that story from this at Boing Boing. And if you think that America’s gov is security mad check this out from The Daily Mail article from the mouth of Ian Johnston president of The Police Superintendents Association,

Mr Johnston called for more robust stop-and-search tactics.

‘We must get back to the time when members of the public accept that even if they have done nothing wrong, and are not carrying a knife, they must not object to a police officer questioning them and in some cases searching them,’ he said.

You might (or might not) ask yourself “why knives?” Because it is nearly impossible for an average British citizen to get ownership rights to a gun. From Wikipedia on Britain’s gun laws,

To obtain a firearm certificate, the police must be convinced that a person has “good reason” to own each gun, and that they can be trusted with it “without danger to the public safety or to the peace”. Under Home Office guidelines, gun licenses are only issued if a person has legitimate sporting or work-related reasons for owning a gun. Since 1946, self-defence has not been considered a valid reason to own a gun. The current licensing procedure involves: positive verification of identity, two referees of verifiably good character who have known the applicant for at least two years (and who may themselves be interviewed and/or investigated as part of the certification), approval of the application by the applicant’s own family doctor, an inspection of the premises and cabinet where guns will be kept and a face-to-face interview by a Firearms Enquiry OfficerFirearms Liaison Officer (FLO). A thorough background check of the applicant is then made by Special Branch on behalf of the firearms licensing department. Only when all these stages have been satisfactorily completed will a license be issued.

So you see, quite impossible. Explains why knives are so prevalent.

Dracula

My good friend Newscoma started this drawing out with the head, eyes, mouth and chin. I finished it off with the scribbling. It’s fun to collaborate this way and passes the dreary hours very well. We had a lot of fun with it. This drawing was done in low light level with a cheap ball point pen on random scratch paper during beer consumption. (in other words, the corner bar)

Mystery!

I loved this show as a kid, it appealed to my inner Poe. My favorite part of the show of course was the intro animated by Edward Gorey who can even make the alphabet grim (see for example his Gashlycrumb Tales). This particular intro is older (I think) and it isn’t used anymore by PBS. The one below is the current intro and is just as dark.

There’s a kind of grim humor in it. Croquet? In the dark? During a lightening storm?

Zombies! and Mr. Mouse too

I’ve been drawing this weird little dude with large whiskers for a while now so I decided to give him a name. Meet Mr. Mouse. Does anybody have a good caption for this one, cuz I dunno.

All Hail

I probably shouldn’t draw when angry. I guess by now that you know that George Bush has yet again cited Executive Privilege to keep his boys out of trouble. Nice real nice. I challenge any of you to do that.

I can’t wait till this dude is out of office and his “Executive privilege” expires. Hope he looks good in orange. Of course with all the precedents he’s set, our next guy will probably be even worse. That’s what happens when you give a mouse a cookie.

Teddy Bear

Awwww...ain't it cute! ssssssss Twang!!!

It started out as a cute little teddy bear, then somehow during a frustrating phone conversation an arrow was put through him.

Strange Days: more from Scratchy’s litterbox

And some days are stranger than others. Lately I have been alternating between mild panic and depression. Neither of those give a body warm fuzzy feelings. But oh well. There’s still drawing utensils and paper. It could be worse. I could be sick or dead. I could be blind. My arms could be amputated. I could develop a deadly beer allergy. Or worse I could wake up a gay Republican. Shudder.

Honky Tonk Man

Charlie Daniel: 50 years in ink

Charlie Daniel has been drawing cartoons for 50 years. Charlie started his career with The Knoxville Journal in 1958. He is currently at the Knoxville News Sentinel and has been since 1992. Here is the News Sentinel’s write-up. Be sure to look at some of his cartoons, he’s pretty sharp.

The G-8 Summit: Let them eat cake!

So while the G-8 Conference were discussing what to do about food shortages they were chowing down on expensive delicacies. So that big feast on the table isn’t for you it’s for the ruling class (politicians). You are the peasants, the little guys under the table.

Lack of compliance is another reason to abolish G8 meetings, given the huge costs involved and the slight connection between the words of the G8 leaders and their subsequent actions. Japan times, Eric Johnston

Immune to the rule of law: FISA

Well, congratulations you greasy bastards. You won, we lost. Newscoma breaks it down here. I’m too mad to write about it. I wish I could get immunity, but I think you have to be a government entity or a corporation to get that. I’m neither so I guess I have to follow the rules.

The amazing Mustachio!

mustachio

Originally uploaded by badger beth

Did you know that John Oate’s mustache is going to be starring in its very own cartoon? Well now you do!

Now I can’t stop thinking about mustaches.

The American Mustache Institute? m’kay…

There are even competitions, no really.

Mustache activism. (I didn’t realize there was prejudice, guess so)

Can’t grow one? Then there’s a club for you too baldy.

Change your mustache like you change your socks!

Turkish women wielding mustaches! Also a petition to stop the men with silly mustaches. Am I done with this silliness? No, by God I’m not! Meet the Handlebar Club out of UK where the qualifications for membership is as follows “a hirsute appendage of the upper lip, with graspable extremities”. Sorry mate, no beards allowed.

Best quote of the day!

I nearly choked to death when I read this comment at the Daily Cartoonist today. I’ll give you a link to the post. Don’t go there if you don’t want to see the cartoon the discussion was about, it is very visceral and will get a rise out of you. Just remember that I gave the option to look or not to look.

So anyhow, I was scrolling through the comment thread and came across this little jewel.

Malc McGookin June/21/2008 @ 4:43 am

Phil, you make Carl look like an intellectual colossus. If your collective grasp of the issue was rubber, you wouldn’t have enough to make a condom for a spider.

Where the sidewalk ends

downtown sidewalks

Originally uploaded by badger beth

Our little town has (almost) finished their downtown renovation. The sidewalks are pretty with plants, trees, plants, benches and old timey looking street lights. It’s all very nice, but all that nicety ends where downtown ends. The sidewalks there aren’t very good if they exist at all. I just wish our town would be more walker friendly. Put a sidewalk down the main drag, it would be safer for pedestrians and drivers. We’re going to walk it anyway, why not make it safer?

America’s got talent

talented skunk

Originally uploaded by badger beth

That show is a train wreck! After two male burlesque attempts and a woman smashing things with her HUGE GIGANTIC TITS the cloggers were a refreshing change of pace.

The Chicken Little Police State

Unbelievable, well until you realize that fear has been the mode of operations for our government since that awful day in 2001.

Pining for the fjords!?

I have never been the same since I saw a Monty Python sketch. It was a British invasion of another kind. I could have put something up about the Holy Grail, but I chose this sketch because it still slays me.

Obama: Get Smart!

I’m pretty disappointed about Obama’s stance on FISA. So far it seems like more of the same old corporate coddling game playing. What exactly was he going to change? His pants?

Mugabe: Was Knighted?!

No really apparently he was back in 1994 for his contributions to British and Zimbabwean relations. It took 12 years of his wreaking havoc to have it revoked. Well, let’s not be hasty or anything.

Fuel or Food?

It’s in everything we consume in the guise of high fructose corn syrup and it’s grains feed our meat. It also feeds milk and eggs. It feeds our pets and it’s used in whiskey and beer. Now it feeds our cars. Is that smart? Using food for fuel?  Well, looky here at this chart (your Ross Perot moment of the day)

Poppa, Momma and Baby makes 3!

This is the best thing ever (besides my niece of course). Just love these people and am really really glad that it came out alright. She is a lovely little baby. All the weirdness and nastiness of this week was pushed aside by her arrival. Welcome to planet Earth baby Anna, I hope we can make it a better place for you.

Fun with Ukes!

I love the guy in red, such energy. I think there may have been beer involved.

We’ll follow that up with this lovely gentleman playing “Magic in the Moonlight”

I think I might have to spring for a ukulele. I could listen to Uncle Peter all day.

Spreadsheet Genie

This is what happens to spreadsheets when they have been sitting in front of me all day.

The AP and Fair Use: BOLLOCKS!

I had no idea that corporate media had gotten this bad. The Associated Press is charging people to quote more than 4 words from any AP article. Here, the AP versus The Drudge Retort. Ahem, not the more well known Drudge Report (infringement?)

So I went to www.apbroadcast.com and looked at their terms of use. Wowzers, I think I might have broken number 7. Personally if I use a story by any entity I always link and give credit to the source. That’s just the right thing to do, but the AP is being really heavy handed here. For instance take a look at #5 in their terms of use, “no derivative” works. So basically if I am reading an AP story and am inspired to draw a cartoon about said story is that against their terms? According to #6 you can make a single copy for personal use only, sure you can fax or write them for further permissions but by the time the story is cold.

With all that being said (a newscomaism) #2 on the terms of use pretty much sums it up for me. They can change their terms at any time. So today you are a legal beagle, tomorrow a hardened criminal. Typical in this post 9/11 world where taking pictures can land you in the slammer and linking to AP can send you to the poor house.

Baby Loves Banjo

Baby Loves Banjo

Originally uploaded by Kamepyon

This is so cute, irresistible! Found it on boingboing of course so most have already seen this lively stepper.

Livin Large

We’re livin large in our own little way, Got some lemons, make some kick-ass lemonade.

And yes I think that they are stoned, or really really tired (drunk?)

A page in time

I found this in one of my old half full comp books. It predates this blog by about 3 months. I can remember who was sitting at the table when I drew it at Cadillacs. I don’t remember the conversation very well because I have no idea where the “poor kitty” came in. I have a tendency to drift in and out of conversations anyway and it’s worse when I’m drawing. I just remember the people that were around me and it’s sort of sad that due to some things that came to pass over the years, it would be a thousand wonders if we ever were to all be at that same table again.

Drive like an Indian

Sort of looks familiar if you’ve ever driven in Nashville. Notice the complete lack of turn signals. These people are insane! (Sorry about you having to go to the site, but it seems I can’t get the BBC video on here)

Update: I found this at Boing Boing, it’s a video of a high speed train crossing. Notice the complete lack of concern as they cross under the warning bar with their motorbikes.

Animation Survival Kit

I love stuff like this!

totalitarian governments are anal

Seriously I ask you, why? Civilized cheering? What happens if you don’t do it exactly the way they say to?

Barrack Obama: Democratic candidate 08

Of course after all that dignity…….

Polar opposites: ya think?

If this ain’t the weirdest thing I’ve seen all day…

Chicken chips.

Found this little jewel while searching for a google image.

chipsmenuideas

Oh yeah they’re for real. Buffalo chips? Don’t they know that “buffalo chips” translates to buffalo turds in certain areas of the country? This is what happens when companies are out of touch with their consumers.

Yellow #2 HB

Yes ya’ll I still draw with a yellow wooden pencil. When the scribbling is done the “drawing”
is scanned and cleaned up in photoshop. Then, walla! there it is.

I say gas, you say petrol

government stats. Charming eh? In 2005 the world was producing 82,532,000 barrels/day and consuming 83,607,000 barrels/day. The top oil producer is Saudi Arabia. Hazard a guess as to who the top consumer is?

Ain’t that something!

Just found the neatest thing at Neatorama, the something store. You send the Something store $10 and they send you something (could be anything).

Bluebird of Happiness

Just finished this little dude for the cover of my Mom’s b-day card. She likes her birds. I hope that this will cheer her up, brighten her day a little.

Winifred Atwell: Five Finger Boogie

I found this while I was looking for information on this band, The Hot Club of San Francisco. They were featured on our paper’s entertainment page so I got curious. I went from Gypsy Jazz to Ragtime, that’s how it goes on the inter-tubes.

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s…..

What is the point of primaries?

On a napkin?

Drawn at The Stable, Martin 5/12/08

Napkins are not ideal for pencil drawings, but doodlers only see white space. The fact that you aren’t supposed to draw on it makes it that much more inviting. I do apologize for the condition of this drawing, it has been riding around in my back pocket all day. Thankfully I wasn’t sweating.

Too much time on my hands

Yes, I know I’ve been lax here lately. Life gets busy and the pencil doesn’t get used much. That and I’ve been worn the slap out this week and haven’t felt the blogging thing. My mood is somewhere between pacing a cage and staring into space. I’ve been trying to communicate with IT folk and it has been frustrating to say the least. They probably think I’m an idiot. Hell, I felt kinda dumb.

IT Lady: You need to change the permissions on that folder.

Me: Um….errrr…wha?

The poor woman had to walk me through it. Then there was the pica discussion. We don’t use picas we use inches. So it was another um…errr moment. Bless the woman she converted it for me.

Basically work is hectic and the time spent away from work feels heavy. There’s just something ominous about the ticking of a clock.

Ron English: Billboard artist

I watched a documentary last night on Link TV about Ron English, a fine artist who went feral.

He and his crew, in broad daylight, redo commercial spaces. Go here to see.

I’m a worse writer than cartoonist, let Ron tell you why.

Cannibalism: In Song

I’m sorry, well only a little bit sorry. The song is “Timothy” sang by The Buoys and written by Rupert Holmes. The commentary with this vid is pretty good giving you all the history you need on this little ditty. I would say enjoy, but the song is pretty bad. For more priceless gems of badness go here to Bolus: Hell’s Ipod.

Nashville Cats: Play wild as mountain dew

Make sure you catch the Flatt & Scruggs version ’bout midway through. Fantastic.

Stress bubbles: not so tiny bubbles

Okay, so after stressing me out all last week about my freaking student loan payment and then tossing my nerves and emotions like a fine chicken salad then shaking me down for my bank information the collection agency has still not taken their pound and a half of flesh out of my account. Why is that? I feel like I’m being dangled and I have a stress bubble creeping up my spine. Is this how fishing bait feels? I don’t think I can use live bait anymore.

from easy street to blues street

Maybe he’s crying because he can’t play the guitar. Hell, I can’t either so don’t sweat it dude.

One Hep Cat

Looks like he’s really rocking out, to what I don’t know. He’s holding a walkman, so probably something old school.

Kangaroos & methane gas

“Scientists are trying to find out why kangaroos don’t burp much, in the hope they might be able to lower greenhouse gas emissions.”

So, basically they are trying to figure out how they can use what goes on in a kangaroo’s stomach to reduce the methane causing sheep and cattle farts and belches.

Interesting because this is the first I’ve heard about the non gaseous quality of kangaroos.

Courtroom artist: Brigitte Woosley

She’s front and center in the courtroom where the Texas polygamist hearings are being held. It’s pretty rare to actually see the artist behind these sketches, they’re so behind the scenes. So what do we know about this woman? According to her bio, 1976 to present: Courtroom Broadcasting Artist and freelance Illustrator working as courtroom artist for national and international broadcast news agencies illustrating noteworthy trials including the Oprah Trial, Waco, Oklahoma City Bombing, Selena Murder Trial and many others for ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, Fox News, the BBC, SIN Television, Germany, Telemundo, API, Reuters as well as local television and newspapers.

Quite a resume, and a very successful artist.

Artist Brigitte Woosley holds one of her courtroom sketches showing family members of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, at the Tom Green County Courthouse in San Angelo, Texas, Thursday, April 17, 2008. Child custody hearings for the children taken from the Yearning for Zion ranch in Eldorado, Texas, began Thursday.

(AP Photo/Eric Gay)

Ballpoint pen art: means no erasing

Can you believe that this was drawn in ballpoint pen? If you think that’s impressive, look at some of these.

(You’ll have to scroll down to see, trust me it’s worth it)

I used to use a ballpoint all the time during high school, college and then boring work meetings. Ballpoint pens are easy access and cheaper than dirt. The good ones are the cheap ones and the best paper is doodle paper or any other porous paper like newsprint or bar napkins. There’s something very freeing about using cheap materials which can lead to new discoveries. It’s a no sweat way to draw. If it sucks throw it away and start over. No biggie.

Of course the artists featured on this site probably didn’t use a Bic and I’m pretty sure that ain’t doodle paper.

Squidoo?

I signed up as a fluke to see what if anything it would do. The jury’s still out. http://www.squidoo.com/cravensworld

Gas prices: you gotta pay to play

What’s sad about this scenario is that it is true. Gas could be as much as $6 a gallon and we would still have to pay up. Much like your utility companies, it’s a modern necessity. All the bitter tears won’t change
that because eventually you’ll have to go somewhere in your car. Cars don’t run (well not yet anyway) on well wishes and air.

Glad!

Working In A Coal Mine: Devo!?

I miss those heady days of laptop casio keyboards.

The 1st ammendment: CBLDF

I found this design on Neil Gaiman’s Journal. It’s a piece of artwork that is being used for a t-shirt design to be sold to benefit the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund. They are an organization put together by various Comic/Cartoonist/Illustrators to protect the 1st amendment rights of comic artists.

Spring fever: No escape

I saw this picture while poking around at web zen which is having neo pop surrealism this week. It made me laugh. The contrast of cute and menacing caught me off guard and made me smile. Go to www.kooch-e-koo.com to see some more out of Miles Thompson.

Earthquake!

This morning I woke up to my house bucking and jumping around. It only lasted 5 or so seconds. In the past I’ve felt slight tremors, but this was my first experience in a bona fide earthquake. We treat the subject in this area ,so near the dangerous New Madrid fault, with a mix of fear and fascination.

Here is part of an eyewitness description of the shocks and the final jolt between December 1811 and February 1812 from Eliza Bryon:

“There were several shocks of a day, but lighter than those already mentioned until the 23d of January, 1812, when one occurred as violent as the severest of the former ones, accompanied by the same phenomena as the former. From this time until the 4th of February the earth was in continual agitation, visibly waving as a gentle sea. On that day there was another shock, nearly as hard as the proceeding ones. Next day four such, and on the 7th about 4 o’clock A.M., a concussion took place so much more violent than those that had proceeded it, that it was dominated the hard shock. The awful darkness of the atmosphere, which was formerly saturated with sulphurious vapor, and the violence of the tempestuous thundering noise that accompanied it, together with all of the other phenomena mentioned as attending the former ones, formed a scene, the description of which would require the most sublimely fanciful imagination.”

This is just one account made about 4 years after the fact. Here are some more eyewitness accounts including more from Eliza Bryon from New Madrid.

George Crist from Kentucky

Various others

Suckered by advertisement: White Gold

I’m not sure what the heck this is, but I spent time with it so I guess they got me. It’s an ad for milk, in case you didn’t notice. It’s a little wierd and silly. In the end I found it annoying. I don’t see how it does anything to promote milk. I should say that the art is pretty decent even if the concept is retarded.

making the jungle funky. Hey!

Obama or Hillary? Who cares?

I missed the debate last night, and I’m glad I did. It just seems like a lot of effort is being spent on damage control and none to very little convincing me that I should vote for either of them. Other than the fact they are democrats, what else do they have that I want in a president? It’s time to nominate and get on with the show and stop this stupid train before I do get bitter.

Oh, and if you want to read some reactions to the debate coverage last night, go here. You won’t see very many atta boys to ABC and other corporate news coverage.

Ollie Johnston: 1912-2008

Ollie passed away today in Washington. He was the last of Walt Disney’s “nine old men”. Jim Hill writes a touching piece about what a really great old guy he was. Personally I remember him being an excellent teacher to thousands of prospective cartoonists/animators including me. I appreciate his generosity in sharing his hard won knowledge. Thanks Ollie.

A little silly goes a long way

An Engineer’s Guide To Cats

Starship 1: Back in the day 4 years ago

Hey, ya’ll remember when you were getting all ready for your space vacation on Starship 1? Now today you can’t afford the gas to go across town. Sad, just sad. That little square thing in the corner of the drawing used to be my logo. I don’t use it anymore, too ambiguous.

Ted Rall: “And take that!”

You go get ‘em Ted!

Ted Rall has one of the most dangerous pointy pens in the business. I just had to bring this one up because it appears that our profession is under fire from a bunch of Ziggy loving dunderheads. Make them smile, make them feel warm and fuzzy, don’t whatever you do cause discomfort or educate. That would run off the advertisers.

Hillary: Can’t hold her liqour

This is awesome:

Democratic presidential hopeful, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, D-N.Y., eyes her shot of Crown Royal with Bronko’s owner Nick Tarailo, right, as she stops at the bar during a campaign stop at Bronko’s restaurant in Crown Point, Ind., on Saturday, April 12, 2008.

(AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster)

Higgins: Black Magic

You’d think by now that I would have settled into some kind of style by now. I can’t get settled. Sometimes that’s good, but aggravating. Do I use the ballpoint? pencil? brush? markers? Should I draw tight or loose? But now I think I’ve found a new friend – the crowquill and some of that old black magic. tasty

Joshua Bell: violinist

I read this story today from the Washington Post. I understand Joshua’s unease. People react strangely sometimes to art in public. Most feel that the fine arts should be contained in symphony halls and climate controlled museums.

Dust Echos

This is gorgeous, a time eater. I haven’t yet been able to watch much of it, but what I’ve seen so far as been pretty cool

The old sketchbook

I ran across an old sketchbook of mine. As I looked through it, I was struck by how much I could remember about my life back then just by looking at those drawings. I had to laugh about this one. His name is Ralph and is as accurate a portrait I could manage. His breath could kill at 10 paces, but my friend CC spoiled him rotten. One day he got out and ran down the street straight to the nearest drug dealer on the corner. CC tracked him down and apologized. He would always try to get away, you had to make sure of the latch on the gate and always carry bacon in your pocket. I haven’t seen CC in some time, it’s been years and I have no idea how Ralph is doing these days, but this drawing bridges all those years and it seems just like yesterday.

I’ve scanned some more old sketchbook drawings, they’re in the flickr bar. I’ve had this particular book since my last year in college (2001) and It still has some pages left.

A case of the blahs

I woke up mad again this morning. There was no reason, just feeling grouchy in general. Also feeling very uninspired. I hate days like this. Today I’m a blah-ger.

Bugs Bunny: What’s Opera Doc?

In case you ever wondered what was wrong with me, I can say it is probably Chuck Jones’ (director) and Michael Mastese’s (writer) fault. These cartoons, oddly enough introduced me to classical music and I can’t hear Wagner today without some part of this cartoon flitting through my mind. That should also explain why Music Appreciation class was more fun for me than other people.

The Animaniacs

I always liked the cartoon, even though at times it could get a little overworked. What I liked best was their little songs. Like this one about the presidents, well up to Clinton anyway.

Tibet: Murder, made in China

I wonder what would happen if something like this happened in the United States today.

“The Tibet Daily newspaper reported Saturday that the government planned to step up its “patriotic education” campaign, which requires monks to denounce their spiritual leader, the Dalai Lama, and declare their loyalty to Beijing.

“We should strengthen patriotic education so as to guide the masses of monks to continuously display the patriotic tradition and uphold the banner of patriotism,” the paper quoted Hao Peng, Tibet’s deputy Communist Party Chief, as saying.

Thursday’s violence in Sichuan province came when the government attempted to enforce “patriotic education” at the Garze monastery, according to the activist groups.”

Patriotic education!? At the point of a machine gun? Kiss my ass matey, I don’t need that kind of education. I can’t believe that our government can be so flippant about doing business with the Chinese government. We owe them money? What do you think will happen when they get ready to foreclose on us? Patriotic education? We’d be so lucky.

Our government needs to hold the Chinese Communist Party accountable. We as a people need to do the same. If we claim the promises of our constitution are true for all, we should stand by the Chinese people. How? By harassing and annoying our appointed leaders. Write it. Sing it. Paint it. Wear it. Let the Chinese know that they are not alone.

Cake: War Pigs (New!)

Yes that’s right ya’ll War Pigs set to footage covered by Cake.

How can that be?

Created by OnePlusYou

Banana goes to The White House

I’ve been looking at this banana on my desk for 2 days now. So what do you do with a banana if you’re obviously not going to eat it? You send it on vacation of course! I should leave this kind of thing to squirrel queen .

Ben Bernanke: It IS the economy stoo-pid

This guy must be living in another country, because in my country we be huuuunnngrrryyy. Well, that’s actually an exaggeration. Not so much hungry as irritated and broke as hell. Here’s what I think, things have been bad here in rural USA for a while. Jobs have been leaving here faster than our young people and it seems like just now it has gotten worldwide attention. Why just now? Well kids, it’s like this – the only part of rural America that urban America gives 2 rat shits about is the agricultural part. That’s because urbanites have to get their food from somewhere.

Whew, see what I mean by irritated?

I was originally going to run this in The Press for April 3rd, but then I remembered that my cartoon was across from the obits and thought better of it. I went ahead and finished drawing it, because I thought it was funny. Before you say it, I know, I know the skeletons are not right. They’re cartoon skeletons, you know. Speaking of bad drawing, as far as I know Mr. Bernanke is not cross eyed. Not as far as I know.

During the Braves’ awful 12 inning game

I played around with my old school watercolor paints, you know the kind that come in the little plastic box with the ratty stiff bristle brush. (I never use that brush, I hate it, I used a nice white vinyl bristle round) This flamingo was the first attempt. It’s pretty rough.

My second attempt was not too much better, but the Braves sucked too so I don’t feel bad. It’s a heck of a way to while away an evening, baseball and painting.

By the way, I’m glad I listened to that game on the radio instead of watching it. I don’t think I could have handled the walks, the blatant errors, the lackluster bull-pen and the sheer incompetence. Well anyhow, welcome back Tom Glavine we missed you. Obviously we need you. Too bad we couldn’t clone you and Smoltz.

Monster: for Newscoma

Breakfast standoff

Every morning we have a guest for breakfast, the mockingbird. He sits on the porch banister daringly close waiting for his opportunity.

I love the bloody minded

This guy takes the prize. It reminds me of paying for gas once with 3 rolls of pennies after I had pumped the gas. The clerk told me I couldn’t pay with that and I told her “tough, I just bought $1.50 in gas”

Ron Paul

Just kidding, this post has nothing to do with Ron Paul. I’m just messing with you. Monkeys always look!

Danish Cartoons: touchy fundamentalists

I found this through Comics Reporter and thought it sounded familiar. Does it ring a bell to you?

Hillary Clinton stars in “The Red Badge of Courage”

I was going to go with Rambo, but it seemed too obvious.

Conan the buddhist: Cheesey Poof the heathen

You’ve all seen the cute little picture of the dog that prays with his buddhist monk master. How cute and yet it underlines the main difference between dogs and cats. Cats are only convinced by food and even then rarely.

You say Hillary or Obama or McCain or whateva

Is it November yet? Because I’ve had it with this primary season. The longer the Democrats wait to nominate the more I dislike the both of them. bah. Pick a winner!

Nigerian cartoonist Obe Ess attacked in his home

This kind of thing happens alot in Africa. According to allAfrica.com,

The intruders initially seized members of the cartoonist’s family, using them as hostages while they uttered threats against him. Then one of the intruders hit Obe Ess hard on the head with the butt of his revolver and was about to beat him when neighbours intervened and the intruders fled. One of them was shot as they fled.

Ess is a cartoonist for The Guardian an independent newspaper. See the Comics Reporter for examples of his work or go straight to here.

New York Auto Show 2008

I love cars. I love to look at them. I like to drive them and ride in them. I really like to look at them, especially new designs.

This BMW concept of the new CS really hit the drool button. Yes I know, fine wine tastes and a beer budget.

Other notables:

The Suzuki Kizashi concept that made you look twice at the manufacturer name, Suzuki? Wow.

I like the double back doors on the John Cooper Works Clubman concept. The black stripes are very fetching.

I don’t even know what to say about the new Scion Hako Coupe except ew. Not a very attractive design, couldn’t be very aerodynamic with that square windshield. I know the look they’re going for, but I don’t think it got there.

The Dodge Challenger is very retro with chrome gas cap and all. Very nice, but obviously a rehash.

There were some interesting takes on the electric car this year, the Mitsubishi, i-MiEV sport being my favorite. I like the fact that they incorporated a little more snaz with the mustang like feature down the side and they didn’t box the back of the vehicle off as you see on so many electric or hybrid vehicles.

I was “meh” about the Acura, the Hyundai, Kia, & Saab (I never could dig the design & I’m not sure you should market clothing while you’re trying to pitch the car, seems desperate)

The new New York Taxi concept from Ford may be ugly, but it has very convenient features: sliding doors, back doors that open, and a card swipe for the passenger’s use. Ugly, but pretty cool.

This, this could only have come from Pontiac. I was looking at the “new” Solstice and came across this “Sport Truck”. It must be a terrible sinking feeling when 50 Cent becomes your pitchman. I never understood this car/pickup design idea. It’s not very good looking and it just seems that it would lack in both areas. Of course, I guess, if you’re just looking for a place to put the speakers then I say go for it.

Richard Thompson: “Make the pie higher!”

I just love Thompson’s work, he cracks me up with his cartoons and illustrations. This one he did for George W. Bush’s 1st inaugural week.

Oh and Richard Thompson also has his own Wikipedia page. He’s awful modest for a heavy hitter check out that resume. wow.

The mess in Iraq: 5th year

Five years ago, I knew it was a crock of shit. Two years after 9-11 and still no Osama bin Laden. I knew that despite anyone’s best efforts that this desert war would be nothing like the last one. I knew that going to Iraq was a stupid ill advised move. Fake evidence, bad “intelligence”, and a blood thirsty administration made it inevitable that we would be at war with Iraq. And not just Iraq, but the whole middle east.

So now it’s 5 years on and I don’t feel any better about Iraq. The issues that prompted the invasion have become muddied. I just hope that in another 5 years I’m not repeating a post like this.

stone henge on fire!

I was playing around with photoshop brushes and came up with this:

My Dad was always trying to tell me to use my head for something besides a hatrack. Looking around, he may be right. I suck at being an adult, I like to play too much. I can’t pay attention and I don’t think far enough ahead. I’m not on task, well unless I’m at work or course, but after that work goes right out the window. Discipline? What? No way man you got me confused with somebody else. They say that the only way that you can be a success at freelancing is to have discipline. Any suggestions on how you learn that? A professional ass kicker? Martial arts? A life coach? Dr. Phil? (incidentally anyone who calls Dr. Phil on me gets it right in the nose). I dunno, maybe one of these days I’ll learn to be a good girl and do what I need do. Nah, I’ll always be a screw head. Look! It’s Stone Hinge Burning! OMG!

Lynndie England: stupid git

I have no words, here’s her’s.

I can’t talk right now, I’m too mad about it. Like I said, stupid git. And just because I’m not in the military doesn’t mean that I can’t say what I just said. Just to head some folks off at the pass who will tell me I don’t understand. I don’t need to understand. I don’t care about the wounded ego of some small time thug who went waaayyyy beyond interrogation and tortured men who were already powerless. Following orders, I call bullshit Oliver North.

Heather Mills: The water incident court sketch

Celebrity rich folk can be soooo amusing. I dunno what she’s so mad about, hell she got 48.6 mil out of it. She should be doing a shin-dig jig all the way to the bank. (Court sketches are fun too, I kinda thought of being a court sketch artist when I was younger, but I’m leaning more toward cartoon forensics.)

Anyhow Ms. Mills got skeeved at Paul McCartney’s lawyer. According to The Mirror via dlisted;

The Mirror reports that after Heather Mills celebrated her multi-million dollar divorce settlement by pouring a glass of water over the head of Paul McCartney’s lawyer. Fiona Shackleton arrived to court with a gorgeous bouffant and left looking like a wet cat. Heather apparently did it, because Fiona had made several “unpleasant comments” about her in court.

And now, are you ready for it, because it is awesome. I want to buy this drawing and put it on my wall. This is the official court sketch…

bahahahahahahaha…sigh. High drama and high art collide!

alien abduction!

Oh, rock on! This sounds like some fun. How far is it to Toronto?

Sunshine Week

It’s that time of year that we celebrate open government! (or not as the case may be) Anyhow me & Newscoma will celebrate it.

“Three-quarters of American adults view the federal government as secretive, and nearly nine in 10 say it’s important to know presidential and congressional candidates’ positions on open government when deciding who to vote for, according to a Sunshine Week survey by Scripps Howard News Service and Ohio University.

The survey shows a significant increase over the past three years in the percentage of Americans who believe the federal government is very or somewhat secretive, from 62 percent of those surveyed in 2006 to 74 percent in 2008.”

That’s a scary percentage of people who have grown wary of their government. It’s not what I would call a vote of confidence. Even on a local level:

“Those who see local government as secretive increased from 34 percent in 2007 to 40 percent in the 2008 survey.”

And of course there’s this from the files of “Captain Obvious”.

“Despite ordering improvements more than two years ago, President Bush has barely made a dent in the huge backlog of unanswered requests under the Freedom of Information Act.”

So what’s the big secret? Let the sunshine in!

Campaign till you puke!

The voting block isn’t the only group experiencing primary fatigue. Hell, I’m so sick of election year already that I’m ready to give them all the finger. Hillary, Barrack lets act like you’re in the same party, you know the Democratic Party, the party that’s going to lose this election if ya’ll keep it up. I’ve heard less trash talk in professional wrestling than I have in this primary season. I know that there are some really charged issues in this race (race & gender, blah, blah, blah and all that) but shouldn’t we as a party be approaching these with more civility? How am I supposed to believe that either one of you are capable of handling the issues this country faces when ya’ll can’t even act right during a campaign? Both of you need to suck it up and dry it up. Try to act presidential and maybe I’ll believe you.

Dunkin Duh-oh nuts

An interesting product tie-in, eh?

My Flying Saucer

I want! I want! I want!!!!!! This house is for sale in Chattanooga!

This ‘flying saucer’ house, pictured on the side of Signal Mountain in Chattanooga, Tenn., Tuesday, March 11, 2008, will go up for auction on Saturday. The buyer needs a fascination for outer space, tolerance for gawkers and at least $100,000. Built by the late Curtis W. King in 1970, the circular house has multiple levels, three bedrooms, two bathrooms and an entrance staircase that lowers and retracts with the push of a button.

I waaaannnnttttt!

vogue: strike a pose nuthin’ to 2 it

bwhahahahaha…

OMG! Too tard to moddle! 

Spitzer

Sheesh, what a week.

On the flip side: Sally Kern

I’ve read some funny comments before, but this one floored me. Awesome, just awesome!

Spc. Monica Lin Brown

She is the first woman to receive the Silver Star in Afghanistan. It is truly a heroic deed done by a woman who is only 19 years old. What was I doing when I was 19? I was just starting college and learning about life in general, but it was nothing compared to the bravery exhibited by this chick. The CBS news story is here.

Martin Robbery suspects apprehended

Thanks to our local law enforcement and their cooperation the suspects in Friday’s armed robbery which took place at the University St. branch of Regions bank were arrested.

Martin armed robbery

The Regions Bank on University St. was held up today by a single armed individual and a driver. The local police are on the case and hopefully the robber will be caught soon.

Update: The local police believe that the robbery suspect is on UTM campus. The vehicle he drove was stolen from mid Tennessee. He is described as a young black man in his 20’s and was wearing a wig at the time of the robbery.

Here are some local links to the ongoing story:

the pacer

nwtntoday.com

update 2: they have called an all clear on UTM campus. Still haven’t apprehended the criminal, but they don’t feel that any students or faculty are in any danger.  

a tip of the hat

A hat tip to all the great people that spread their creativity around like a happy disease. Yay blogoshpere!

Big Brother is watching you…

He just doesn’t know what to do with you.

This will make it easier to catch your dissident ass.

The FBI is trying to police themselves, which is admirable, even if it 3-4 years to late in some cases.

And to lighten things up a little, I give you drunk Elvis.

Carl Edwards flips out

Edwards

Earnhardt

Biffle

Harvick

Burton

Kahne

Ragan

Kvapil

Hamlin

Martin

Those are your top 10 drivers. Edwards gets to flip out again. And I just have to say “Go boy!” Pretty good race with a record number of cautions for this track, 11 total. Everyone got out alive, and nobody was injured too badly except for maybe a couple of egos. I call that a good race. Boogity, Boogity see ya’ll in new digs at Atlanta.

(Update: Carl Edwards’ team penalized 100 points for a missing oil tank cover that was found out during a post race inspection.)

red flag caution: 4 to go

Due to all the debris on the track from Gordon’s car they’ve called a red flag caution. During a red flag, nobody moves. No work can be done on the cars, and all engines are off. It’s not a good situation this close to the end of the race.

6 to go: caution 11

Whatever the drivers are going to do, now is the time.

Wow Gordon just got hit hard. His radiator is laying out in the middle of the track. Gordon eased up the track and clipped Kenseth. Kenseth pulls out of it, but Gordon hits that inside wall and his car was obliterated.

caution 10

Kurt Busch loses a tire and rams the wall. Lose isn’t adequate to describe what happened. It exploded right in the middle of a turn 4 and he didn’t have anywhere else to go except our old friend the wall. He’s ok, but he won’t be able to finish the race which hurts his point standings. ooft

17 to go

Desperation starts to kick in right about now. Kasey Kahne just nudged Paul Menard out of his way. No ill effects, just racing. If you can’t drive any faster, get out of the way. Menard is creating a hazard by not moving on.

Caution 9

Dale Jarrett spins out into the wall and several drivers narrowly miss hitting him. Could’ve been worse. According to the commentators turn 2 is catching a lot of wind that is blowing directly into the side of the cars, making an already tough turn even worse. Turn 2 has been the devil today.

Caution 8

Mears goes high and catches Vickers for caution #8. Mears comes out alright, but Vickers gets a taste of the wall.

What’s eating Jimmy Johnson?

Last year’s champion hasn’t done well so far this year. Even on this track where he normally does well he’s lagging. What’s eating him?

Whose tire is this?

There’s a tire on the loose. It had been put over the pit wall, somehow ended up bouncing back over the wall and started rolling across the track. That’ll be a penalty of course, but you’ll get no honest injuns admitting ownership of the errant tire.

On the replay, the tire was Carl Edwards’ tire, but a camera guy was in the way of the tire catcher. So NASCAR reviewed it and decided against a penalty. Good call.

whew…68 to go

Gettin tired. I’m keeping an eye on Kenseth. He’s moved up 3 places in the last 2 laps and has the fastest lap time.

Welcome to the wall rookie!

Patrick Carpentier, Canadian rookie, gets in the back of Ryan Newman, gets loose and slaps the inside wall. Another one bites the dust.

Caution flag 6, Scott Riggs spins out and Franchitti gets a piece of him. Great view from the Gopher Cam.

The sound of the pit

Zip zip zip (air wrenches)

noise of engines at idle. tires screeching up to the pit

There’s a lot of activity, every member of the crew has a specific job to do. One mistake can mess up the whole stop.

Lap 136

Kenseth holds the lead, but I don’t think that will last long as he has Jeff Gordon looming larger in his back window.

Commercial break: Junior carries a camel. Kinda funny.

smoke break

Lap 76 of 267

Crank it Up

Kyle Busch says that the track is not wide enough and decides to take the apron. Seems that’s legal in Vegas. That move puts him back in the lead. He’s run off and left the pack.

Tony Stewart is in the wall. Whap! I can’t imagine what it feels like to be zipping along at 184 mph and then slam into a wall. This is his second crash in two days. He’s able to get out of the car and walk away with a little assistance. He’s either hurt his shoulder or his ankle. Of course he could’ve been dead in the old days before the safe barrier. The wall is now built to absorb the energy of the crash and give a little.

green flag pit

Hornish and Mayfield blow tires. You can see how hot the tires get when they are taken off, they smoke. A lot of speeding tickets entering and exiting pit road.

Well Hornish has gone to the garage. Tough break for the rookie.

There’s the caution, right after nearly everyone has already gone to pit for 4 tires and fuel. There’s debris on turn 2. So the boys bring them back in for adjustments.

On a side note, that commercial was completely in Spanish. NASCAR trying to be diverse I suppose.  I don’t know how that’s going to settle with their fan base. They still think Montoya is from Mexico. I used to correct them “No dammit he’s from Columbia.” I don’t bother anymore.

Clean up on turn 2. McMurray #26 lost a hose or something, it looks like a hose at least

NASCAR: Las Vegas, Lap 39

Kyle Busch is in the lead with Carl Edwards hot on his heels. They’re racing like they are the only ones on the track. Side by side, window to window. Edwards catches him down low and takes the lead.

The other Busch, Kurt is hanging out at 4th. He’s definitely one to watch. Like him or not the man can drive.

I can’t believe that some of these guys are still running on the same tires. It’s a matter of time before catastrophe strikes.

vegas: look out for that left turn!

The pace car is a cop car. A Dodge Charger to be exact.

267 laps, 400 miles to go. The main topic of concern is the wind. It’s whipping pretty good and I’m already starting to see some rubbish blowing around on the track. The turns are pretty treacherous too.

I can’t believe that the best name for the gopher cam they could come up with was Digger. I like the cam, just not sure about the silly cartoon gopher.

Reutimann black flagged. He’s already been up in the wall. Turn one got him. He’s got crap hanging off his car. Then he blows a tire. He’s also got the flu. Damn the luck.

Well this going to shape up to be an eventful race. Jamie McMurray just took his car off road into the grass, he about flipped it over. Wild ride, caught a lot of air. First caution of the race.

NASCAR: Las Vegas

boogity boogity

ladies & gentlemen please rise. It’s the only pro sport that starts out with prayer.

The silence of the crowd during the anthem is deafening. Waiting for the flyover. US Air Force Thunderbirds, beautiful, just beautiful. Now is the waiting time. Drivers are strapping in trading baseball caps for helmets. Last minute adjustments, pep talks and checks.

John Byers “gentlemen start your UAW engines!” He’s flanked by showgirls. Only in Vegas. Oh and Robin Leach is announcing the opening ceremonies.

The great flu epidemic of ‘08

Sitting at Cadillacs listening to Counting Crows, “Round Here”. Watching Courage the cowardly dog. Drinking a cold beer. Trying not to associate this song with any of those miles behind me.

You know if you have never watched this cartoon…well lemme tell you, it’s weird. The last scene showed a bunch of bananas closing in on a monkey and Courage was leading them. Ca-razy.

Oh great, it’s that damned Vanessa Williams song. I really liked it when it first came out now I’m over it. It sounds like the songwriter tried to see how he could string a bunch of lame cliches together and get a song. UGH.

Well that’s all from Phlegmville. Later taters.

George Bush isn’t a liar: conflicting headlines

I heard the top story on CNN radio this morning and decided that George Bush wasn’t really a liar, he’s just out of touch. I just love wonderland, don’t you? Word of the day “stagflation”. I want to meet and beat the wordsmith that came up with that little jewel. Speaking of wordsmiths I love how they used clobbered in their blurb. It makes it sound like the economy was in a street fight and got mugged. Very visual.

Rhapsody in Blue: 1924

Newscoma mentioned the song Rhapsody in Blue. I decided I wanted to hear it and I found this old 78rpm version that feels very 1920’s. It’s not the one you’ve ever heard. It would not be suitable for an airline commercial. All I know is I can’t stop listening to it.

MARVEL ZOMBIES!

Dude, I can almost hear Newscoma squee with glee. Marvel Zombies!

That’s my damn river

Just scroll through the comments, it gets heated. Some are just insulted at the suggestion, others are laughing. I think it’s absurd, but considering the absurdity of our government it’s just possible that my Grannie could end up in Georgia.

Georgia, Tennessee border brawl

This just came to my attention.

I had no idea this was going on, that part of Tennessee could go to Georgia. Say wha? It’s all over water of course, because I guess Atlanta has drank it all up. And the drought has been relentless here in the southeast.

Here are some links to various sides of the issue:

peachpundit

GPB news

a pretty good rundown at the McGehee Zone

so anyhow, if ya’ll have any insights from East Tennessee holla at me.

Me: the biological weapon

Today I feel much better than I have for the last 3 days, but I’m afraid I’ve infected a few friends. Killa, Newscoma and SquirrelQueen have all mysteriously come down with similar symptoms. I’m like a biological weapon or something. Guys, I am soooo sorry. I promise, next time I will keep my sick ass at home.

Mohammed cartoons resurrected

Well, looks like there is still a lot of heat on Danish newspaper cartoonist Kurt Westergaard. He has been forced to leave the hotel where he was holed up. The Danish newspaper along with some other European newspapers & magazines republished the offensive cartoon to show solidarity. I’ve put it up here before, but I won’t be doing it again. I’m sure that had they given Kurt the option he would have said let it be. I say let it be. You can’t heal wounds by picking at the scabs.

New page!

I’ve added a new page for drawing lessons. Go see, it has an animation on it.

Don’t ask, I can’t tell

I could probably tell you what I was thinking during every moment of the above drawing, but I have no idea what it’s supposed to mean. This process being as organic as it is, once it starts no telling where it will end up. This page is basically a mess, it was done early in the night and I hadn’t progressed to the dangerous stage yet. Notice the difference in the top one and the bottom one:
Pretty rough, the whole page is like that, just one solid mess. I was too embarrassed to show the whole thing it was so bad.

Daytona 500: 50 years

This Sunday I will be at Caddy’s watching the 50th running of the Daytona 500. I should also take this time to explain myself because a lot of people are puzzled as to why I like Nascar. Well, it started out as a social thing, something to while away the long boring Sunday afternoons. (I had been watching football) While hanging out with the racing fans I started to learn about the sport and developed an appreciation for it. All the 43 different personalities racing around the track at around 200 mph, the teamwork of the pit crew, the rivalries and off course the occasional fist fight or wreck (we all know that noone watches nascar for the wrecks). So anyway, now I’m hooked. It aggravates me to miss a race. I missed the Bud Shoot Out and I’m still irritated because I missed seeing Junior winning his first race in 2 years. Dammit!

See you at the track.

condi rice: velvet painting, quality you can feel!

When I woke up this morning I was a hating mess. A snarling mass of mean.

Cheery coworker: “Good morning!”

Princess of hate: “Piss off.”

It went like that for some time till I ran across this.

Your eyes will bleed. Puke or laugh, you’ve been warned!

I bought a new comp book, for my scratchy drawings, a Valentine’s Day present to me. (I like using cheap materials, it frees me up to relax and doodle without worry. Expensive materials make me nervous.) It was then that I realized why I felt so low, I had abandoned my first love. My love of drawing had been sitting home watching Lifetime reruns while I was out at the bar with the guys. We’d become distant. Conversations ended in mumbled apologies “maybe tomorrow” then tomorrow was the same as yesterday. So to patch this strained relationship “Scratchy” goes where I go. Maybe we’ll get back to where we were when drawing was fun.

crackskullbob

This cartoon cracked me up. Go look at the rest of what he has.

New Computer! Weeeeeee

The last post and this one are both on my new (new to me) computer. It’s nice, nice to be able to blog from the bar. Woot!

mardi gras, party rah!

I know, I know. Where has she been all your life?

cheers to you!

I love the old funnies. Sunday comics used to be published in a full page format and often in gorgeous full color. Digital Funnies has some collections of some of these available for purchase.

just an old fashioned saudi love song

Came across this tidbit from BBC:

Saudi authorities consider Valentine’s Day, along with a host of other annual celebrations, as un-Islamic.

In addition to the prohibition on celebrating non-Islamic festivals, the authorities consider Valentine’s Day as encouraging relations between men and women outside wedlock – punishable by law in the conservative kingdom.

However, people in love are pretty resourceful:

The Saudi Gazette reported that some people placed orders with florists days or weeks before Valentine’s Day in anticipation of the ban, which is a regular occurrence.

“Sometimes we deliver the bouquets in the middle of the night or early morning, to avoid suspicion,” one florist said.

never give a mouse a pistol

Oh my that was fun. There’s some problem saving to the gallery, but still, very fun.

economic indicators?

Do you think that those 2 items are in any way linked? hmmmm

john edwards, this is not goodbye

I just finished reading John Edwards’ speech that he made when dropping out yesterday. For some reason, I don’t think we’ve heard the last of him. Here’s an excerpt,

“All of you who have been involved in this campaign and this movement for change and this cause, we need you. It is in our hour of need that your country needs you. Don’t turn away, because we have not just a city of New Orleans to rebuild. We have an American house to rebuild.”

Does that sound like a man who has thrown in the towel? I am waiting for his endorsement. He might surprise us all…

ron paul racing, no really

This cracks me up, truly. I mean 1st the blimp, now this. I can just picture the reaction of some of my NASCAR friends, “Who’s that Ron Paul guy?” He’s so fringe he makes Kucinich look like a winner. I just love election year, the drama, the action, the wierdos.

I spy a spy

This Friday an important surveillance bill expires. From the State of the Union address:

“To protect America, we need to know who the terrorists are talking to, what they are saying, and what they are planning. Last year, the Congress passed legislation to help us do that. Unfortunately, the Congress set the legislation to expire on February 1. This means that if you do not act by Friday, our ability to track terrorist threats would be weakened and our citizens will be in greater danger. The Congress must ensure the flow of vital intelligence is not disrupted. The Congress must pass liability protection for companies believed to have assisted in the efforts to defend America. We have had ample time for debate. The time to act is now.”

Well, I don’t know about you, but I feel safer. We don’t live in a police state, we live in a state of paranoia. And those companies that “assisted” to “defend America” sold us out. What those companies did was illegal! They should be punished not protected. I like this article from Wired by Bruce Schneier,

“We’ve been told we have to trade off security and privacy so often — in debates on security versus privacy, writing contests, polls, reasoned essays and political rhetoric — that most of us don’t even question the fundamental dichotomy.

But it’s a false one.”

” The debate isn’t security versus privacy. It’s liberty versus control. “

Of course we all know that people with liberty are out of control.

for the love of god

Dear neighbors,

Please, please get some sleep tonite. Get stoned early and just crash out or whatever works for you. I don’t want to hear your stereo at 3am. I don’t want to hear your ass talking on the cell phone. Just kindly shut-up and go to bed. I don’t know what was so damned funny last night, I couldn’t hear the joke. I heard everything else mind you. You barfing. You blowing your nose. You pissing. You thundering across the floor on the way to the fridge. Just please stop, please. Get it all out of your system earlier in the evening so that I look like less of a zombie during the day.

Thank you,

Your asshole neighbor

hillary clinton

This is as close as i could get after hours of studying facial features. that’s why i had to label it.

i found the tutorial

In the interest of sharing…here is a great tutorial on making your own photoshop brushes. so easy my 3 year old neice could do it.

where i discover photoshop brushes

I suspect I’m a little late to the dance on this one, but if you want some cool stuff, go here.

or here. There’s too much stuff out there. You can make your own too (again late to the dance), but I haven’t found a good tutorial yet.

you mean the bush admin. lied?

yes they did. The Center for Public Integrity put together a non-profit study. It’s a bit of a slog and it pretty much reiterates what we all already knew anyway, but to see it broken down this way is impressive.

greenhouse gases

oh those crazy swedes. just give me the $590,000 and I’ll fart and belch all day.

gas tax: part deux

I found a news report from The Dallas Morning News that explains more about the federal commission’s plans to raise the gas tax by 40 cents over the next 5 years.

The proposal for a 40-cent increase over five years touched off a stormy debate in Washington that is expected to last until at least 2009, when legislation governing scores of transportation programs expires and must be rewritten……

The panel wants Congress to raise the federal gas tax – currently at 18.4 cents a gallon – by 5 to 8 cents a year for five years, and then allow the rate to grow with inflation after that. By then, drivers would be paying $6 extra for every 15-gallon tank. The panel also wants state gas taxes increased.

So there’s the scoop kids, now who needs a ride?

parking the donkey

This post from Aunt B got me thinking about gas prices again. It’s a recurrent theme when you’re poor

I am fortunate that I live very close to where I work and I can walk most days, but walking to the grocery store I might need to pack a sack lunch or get a donkey. I’m not that energetic and I don’t know where I would be able to park my donkey. I take the truck. It’s an old Ford Ranger and she has some miles and has been all over the southeast US. I know that there are vehicles out there that use less gas and get better mileage, but I can’t afford them. Ethanol can’t be found in my town. The Ranger can’t use biodiesel. So, it’s not because I’m not willing to try to help the environment with my mode of transportation, it’s just not possible.

Besides all that, stop taxing me for crap already! Here ya’ll are trying to stop the recession on one hand and then getting all set to send us another bill. Stop! For the love of Pete man!

Side point: I’ve noticed that a lot of gas stations within walking distance have started carrying basic grocery items , bread & milk mostly, are they on to something? BTW anyone know how much square acreage you would need to keep a donkey? Just keeping my options open.

huckabee

I knew it by God! I knew he couldn’t keep his nasty little hands off of our constitution. Little creep! Listen carefully the video volume is crap.

stewman!

i couldn’t believe my ears so i thought the radio said $2,000. The actual money raised was closer to $10,000.

$10,000! Wow! Hooterville rocks!

Babes in Space

Go ahead….awwwwww.

National Security at work

Ohhhh nice job guys. Damned scary those 5 year olds.

Tom Brokaw: gives Chris Matthews a come to Jesus talk

Anyone who watched the New Hampshire coverage knows that MSNBC was terrible due mostly to the things that Brokaw says here.

John Edwards: Forgotten Candidate?

Just seems to me that someone got left behind in the midst of all this Clinton-Obama tempest in a teapot. I guess most voters are not 100% convinced of his sincerity, but honestly I’m not worried about your sincerity here candidates. I’m worried about “Are you going to throw our constitution under a bus, like the current pres? Are you going to make me grit my teeth painfully every time you get up to speak because I’m afraid you’ll say something stupid or dangerous? Will you uphold the law of the land and make your staff do the same?” See that’s what I truly care about. If our current president could’ve given us that our country would have had some comfort during this rough period. If you want my vote assure me that I won’t have to go through 4 years of more crap like the last 8.

Vermin Supreme in ‘08

This guy is a trip. Yes that is a boot on his head. He’s a presidential candidate, crazy but a genuine candidate. Well hell, why not maybe he’ll cheer Hillary up. I wonder if he has signs I’d like one for my yard. Oh and here’s his platform, ha!

Hillary Clinton: Grace under pressure

I’m not going to go the way most cartoonists have gone, giving Hill a hard time, I’m actually going to give the girl props for the way she handled these jerks. Nice work, keep your head up it won’t be the last time someone asks you to iron your shirt.

The Widow of the South

Above: The McGavock cemetary with Carnton in the background.

Just finished reading Robert Hicks’ novel “The Widow of the South,” it takes place during the 2nd battle of Franklin November 30, 1864. On the Union side there were 2,326 casualties. The Confederate total was 6,261. There are 1,481 of the Confederate dead buried behind the Carnton mansion which is where “Widow” was set.

Right now the battlefield itself is under siege by developers. I’ll be the first to say I don’t get all misty eyed when I hear Dixie (there’s a lump in my throat, but it’s bile) but I do feel like we need to preserve more of our historic places no matter how unpleasant the memory. Didn’t someone say “If we don’t remember our history we are doomed to repeat it.”

From Wikipedia: “Much of the rest of the Franklin battlefield has been lost to commercial development. The spot where Gen. Cleburne fell, for instance, was covered until late 2005 by a Pizza Hut restaurant. Although the restaurant was purchased by a preservation group and demolished…”

Above: The battlefield today from Winstead Hill.

This site has letters and reports from actual soldiers from both sides that fought in Franklin.

smokin’!

Everyone is all hung up on the smoking ban. If you light up you’re a criminal. Outside to the cold howling wind and rain. It used to be so different.

Of course then again you could wear fur too without shame.

Did you see the way their 2 clouds of smoke collide together in the last scene. Priceless…..ahhh romance.

Happy New Year from The Badger

Oh, I’m so happy. To be back on track. The holidays can really throw you off. Seems like, as soon as the eggnog wears off it’s time for more partying. Won’t be much party tonight even if it is new year’s eve. I have $10. I can buy 10 natural lights at $1 ea. Or I can get 1 mixed drink and 4 $1 natural lights. Or I can get 5 $2 beers of my choice. Christmas has sucked me dry. Not that it was bad this year, but I do feel that most of the gifts I gave family members were unsatisfactory (too small, too big or what have you). The niece enjoyed her gifts it seems, of course then again she is only 3. So this Christmas feels like I threw good money after bad and now I have $10 for new year’s eve. Next year the family will get socks and all my good friends (who feel more like my family honestly) will get all the goodies. Their support and kindness throughout the year has helped more than they probably know. I just noticed today that I have been on this site for 2 years. I would have never done it if it hadn’t been for my friends in the blogging community particularly Newscoma. Thanks! Happy New Year to all of ya’ll!

Pterodactyl!

I came across this little jewel of news writing  while looking through boingboing.

There’s several things that amuse me: The incident happened at 11:30 p.m., but there was only a minimal amount of alcohol. The people in Wenatchee are really nice because when he started drifting into their lane they stopped and let him through. The man slams into a telephone pole (apparently at some speed cause he totaled his car). His one word response was “Pterodactyl.” The newspaper then clarifies what a pterodactyl is. “A pterodactyl was a giant winged reptile that lived more than 65 million years ago.” (Really? Thought that it was one of them there endangered buzzards or somethin.) The best part of the story is that after he runs his car into a pole, totals it and then starts talking about seeing dinosaurs he is taken to the hospital where he is treated and released. I want to live in Washington state, because if I were to pull something like that in Tennessee … well lets just say I wouldn’t be treated and released.

snow peeps!

Oh this is so fun! Make your own champion of cheer here

They are actually a design firm. Their donations go to ?….I guess some sort of charity or other. All I know is that I enjoyed making the snowpeeps and I encourage you to go make your own Champion of Cheer.

i see you kitty!

this just freaks me out kinda. i do not want the Cheesy-poof to glow.

“can I speak with Dubya please”

The newest security threat, punk kids.

the cia: cuts their nose to spite their face

The fact that the CIA deleted the torture tapes tells me they were beyond the pale even for the CIA. Must have been one hell of a snuff film.

I was thinking random thoughts while reading a classified ad that was advertising catboarding and I wondered to myself, “Is that anything like waterboarding? If it is, could it be considered torture?”

Then for some reason this morning I was thinking about Oprah and her endorsement of Obama. There’s quite a buzz right now about her “political power.” I’m speculating that one day she will enter a more political arena and this is her way of getting her feet wet. It wouldn’t be much of a stretch for her. She has her own show, her own magazine, her own channel and she does nice things for people. Poor Obama, he’s almost overshadowed by her. Queen Oprah.

On the walk to work I discovered that I shouldn’t have worn a coat because it was actually hot outside. Yesterday was cold and damp. I never could get the hang of this time of year.

The picture above is a rough of tomorrow’s cartoon unless one of these other weird ideas takes root and we have John Ashcroft getting catboarded or Queen Oprah for president. We’ll see.

I been tagged

newscoma tagged me some time ago and i’m just getting to it: (see #1). Update: scout got me too!

1) Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.
2) Share 7 facts about yourself.
3) Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
4) Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Here we go,

1. I procrastinate. Everyone is done and I’m bringing up the rear gasping “Pray God I’m not too late!” I don’t know why, it doesn’t make sense.

2. I’m very self conscious. That is unless I’ve had a few, then look out. Meeting new people can be torture for me, but once I’ve met them I’m fine.

3. I’m pretty simple and direct in my dealings. I’m not very clever or subtle. What you see is pretty much it. So I miss a lot of what goes on around me because I missed some small detail that would have explained a lot had i been paying any attention.

4. My attention span works like a remote that is in the hands of a channel flipping maniac. I can handle 2 things going on at a time (friend & ballgame, or fishing or whatever). 3 things is pushing it. Any more than that going on at the same time and something is going to get lost in the shuffle. I’m an analog girl in a digital world.

5. I hate squishy food. I ate a lot of oatmeal when I was a kid.

6. I’m scared to death of near about everything; snakes, spiders, heights, traffic, cops, my parents, crazy drunk people and psycho lesbians (why are there so many?)

7. I trust to luck more than i should. Although in the past it has served me well, i shouldn’t push it the way i do.

So, that’s about it ya’ll. Oh and rack9 your it!

subservient chicken!

Well, if you like bossing people around, this is the thing for you. Hilarious, thanks ‘Coma. She tells me there is also a subservient santa, but alas i could not find it.

Also, for your friday giggles enjoy my personal favorite. Go abduct some cows!

bah humbug

I’m about Christmased out by now and I still have a whole month to go, agh.

mini-cars! sweet!

oh. my. god. these are ssssssooooo pretty! feast your eyes on these beauties!

Mike Huckabee

I’ve heard a lot of BS in my time, but this presidential race is going to take the prize. Take this interview with Mike Huckabee (from Rolling Stone) for example and this clip from the debate and ask yourself “We are already bringing up the rear in science and math among other countries of the world, we seem to be going backward instead of forward. Will this guy be able to keep his hands off of our children’s textbooks? Will they be able to compete in a shrinking workforce? Does this guy value education at all? If the planet is only 6,000 years old then where did these fossils come from? I think these are fair questions to ask a guy that wants me to elect him president. Oh and go here too. Not really digging on this Huckabee guy.

mucus galore: not a bond character

Christ, I’m so sick. Nothing very sexy about hacking and snotting. My nose has tissue burn from all the blowing. just thought i’d share. This picture was drawn years ago, I found it in one of my old old sketchbooks. His name is Red Thermal: Feverish Super Hero. It’s still funny all these years later.

sudan, at it again

If you were to replace Sudanese Muslims with conservative Christians (Southern Baptist usually) and if someone were to name the teddy bear Jesus instead of Muhammed what do you think would happen? Would it be anything like what has happened to this lady?

i am a shroom

i just deleted the post i had here. i decided that after all, the thing to do would be to go have a drink. i’m sick. i’m tired. i’m annoyed. so i think a few beers at caddy’s would do the trick. (another line deleted here) f-it. bye

Thanksgiving

Well I’m off to eat some turkey. I’ve got a sure nuff busy week ahead, lots of traveling. Tonight i’m off to Paducah. Tomorrow night i will be in Bugtussle with the rodent queen and ‘coma. Thursday i’m going to see the family cross the river. run back to see a friend that night. wake up friday, go to work, run back across the river. from there it’s off to the hills of east tn to see more kinfolk. If anyone is going to be in my town sunday, meet me at the bar. i’m breathless just thinking of it. sort of like the turkey in this picture.

i’d rather eat my shorts

right now i am trying to eat some of those little microwaveable noodle things where you ad water and nuke it for a bit. the expectation was that it would be edible after 7 minutes. i new i had been deceived  when i opened the package and saw the little shredded bits of carrots & cabbage and something else small and round (chicken?). the absolute best was the liquid “seasoning” that i had to pour over the steaming gelatinous pile of crap. it looked like used oil. wtf? it’s supposed to be chicken flavored. i don’t taste any bloody chicken. and that is what this post has turned out to be about. chicken. greasy, savory, fried, baked & roasted chicken. not chicken friggin pebbles! i don’t even know why they bothered putting it in the noodle kit, it’s almost too small to chew. just what part of the chicken did they use? (no! oh god, don’t answer that) i guess i should admit that, yes i ate it anyway all except for the chicken knuckles. i wish i had a bologna sandwich

gene shalot?

This pad has been sitting on my desk all week, and as with all things that don’t move fast enough it got doodled. Does this guy look like gene shalot to anyone else?

by the way this guy is awesome and has some really great links, wow 

tased: why it matters

“Don’t tase me bro!” part 2

Even if he did it according to plan or not, the events that occurred afterward brought attention to a serious problem. Our own country (the land of the free, home of the brave) is perilous close to being a police state where the news is shut down and dissidents are imprisoned. Here are some comments from people who are in Pakistan during all the unrest. When we read this does anything sound familiar? If you don’t, open google and type in protesters arrested. If not type in reporter arrested. This will probably be the first on the list, incredible. He isn’t even elected yet and he’s already acting the part.

suckered by an advertisement

I spent a lot of time playing with this cool little site

I know it’s just marketing, but it’s slick, fun and interactive. It’s advertising that works.

a weird night

Last night while I was sitting at the local Watering Hole, someone got into my truck and pilfered through my junk. They didn’t take anything except for ( you’ll love this) my partial 12 pack of Cokes and the entire contents of the interior pocket of my bag which contained my business cards and some tampons. They didn’t take anything else, just those items. I’m a little steamed about the cokes, but mostly puzzled by the tampon theft. That’s such a strange thing to steal. And I can’t imagine why the business cards

mr. rogers

Ivy got me with this post, and since I think that everybody needs to hear this message from him here’s the link

Thanks Ivy

what i want for christmas

this is what i want. i want
! i want!

The mess in Martin

Martin received a grant to remodel it’s downtown area and everybody was happy and excited about it. Now that work has begun and the main street is going to be closed people are furious. It’s tricky now getting around town it takes creativity. What was once a parking lot has become a major street. The noise hasn’t really been an issue yet, but the jackhammers haven’t made it up to the paper’s end of the street yet. I’m looking forward to seeing what Martin looks like after the makeover, it couldn’t look any worse.

Don’t tase me bro!

The dude speaks

right on man here is his site 

I like the way that during his interview with the today show he mentioned  his site, just once, but sometimes it only takes that one drop in the lake to start a wave.

pickles?

Hey! Are you gonna eat that pickle??!

My Costume

It’s been a while, I know. Busy, busy busy.

life

i just heard that a friend of mine lost her mother to cancer. my heart is with her, but what can you say? she (my friend) is pretty gritty, but this is going to be one hell of a trial for her and her family. there’s nothing i can say or do. so powerless to help her with her grief. my heart is with her though, god help her and her family through this tough time.

Chinese red

According to a Zogby poll around 75% of American consumers are not going to be buying Chinese toys. So I guess all those Chinese toys will have to go to the Island of Misfits.

fred thompson

fred thompson

Originally uploaded by badger beth

Boy, I’m tired. I feel about as tired as this guy looks. It’s too bad he’s our candidate from TN. He’s free trade, pro-war and he has no idea how much a gallon of milk costs. But then you have to ask yourself, are any of them in touch with reality?

john edwards

Tommorrow I’m going with a reporter camera in hand to see John Edwards’ visit to Columbus KY. Should be interesting. This is all pretty random, sort of an update and what not. Found my bag. Boy do I feel sheepish (baaaa?) it was in my house the whole time. I found it when I was cleaning house. So now I feel like a great big jackass. Vacation was nice, it was good to hang out with HonkyG he’s crazy. Met some nice people. Then came home. (*sigh*) Most of you (all 8 or so) already know about the cover I’m doing for Kathy T, we’re still tweaking. Almost there. I was going to make you wait, but here it is anyhow…

Burma via Beijing

I’m sure that China isn’t the only one funding oppressive regimes, but they support quite a few. This was a short list.

going on vacation

I am going on a much needed vacation. i have been in an afternoon slump since about 1pm. lethargic and grainy eyed. So me and Glenda my lovely (uh-uh) are going to a remote area to visit friends, drink beer, grill things and be generally useless for a few days. ya’ll hang on like a booger i’ll be back. in the meantime, this.

Art Tack-O

I have set up something a little silly over here. It’s only one right now, but just you wait it’ll get worse. Enjoy!

iraq

oh to be born in a different age

So, you wish you were born in a different age? Oh really? After you see this you will be glad to be a modern woman. Thank you Charles Tampon. http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1110/1316805108_b12c108381.jpg?v=0

oh and this from the dusty enclaves of a closet

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1193/1316797868_30f2996d24.jpg?v=0

senator craig

It just kills me that some people think that all gay people are sex crazed maniacs dying to get in your pants. http://legislativereport.tenneconomics.com/?p=591

It also drives me nuts that when found out they blame everything but themselves, and people still stick up for them. I don’t care if he’s in the closet that’s not my problem. I don’t care, but he shouldn’t be out there harassing people because he’s uncomfortable with his life.

dear sticky fingers,

Do you think this will be good copy for my lost and found ad in the newspaper?

Hey there Sticky fingers, thanks for relieving me of my bag you douche. Bet you were depressed when all you found was a couple of sketchbooks , a cheap planner and a tampon. You asshole, you probably just threw it away when you didn’t find any money. What a shithead, you could’ve at least returned the books to me, I had my address and phone number all over them. If I catch you diddy-boppin around with that bag you’ll wish you had left it alone in the first place.

Is it too harsh? Nah…

Depression is just anger without enthusiasm…

No drawing today, sorry, just random scratches. WARNING: NEWSCOMA! DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING LINK! http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2004092008,00.html.

*shudder* You read it didn’t you…it gave me the willies. I still have them.

Now for some trippy science http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070824/ap_on_sc/universe_hole;_ylt=AvHPdUvnIpZDH4lwcoin3U5I2ocA

Came across this by Robert Crumb  http://www.flickr.com/photos/amatthews/1217966857/

Today Web Zen had “Potent Potables” (drinks). I think that I’ll get off here and go have some potent potables myself.

karl rove…

can just go stuff himself. I thought he quit, why is he still running that big yap of his?

long days, longer nights

I’ve been working on this drawing for around two days while waiting on things to upload or download. Sometimes those things take alot of time so I start doodling to kill the boredom. It works, but then I find myself drawing instead of you know, taking care of ads.

The thundering herd

I feel sort of like I have been out running with the bulls. I’m even panting a little. I’ll be glad to have some down time, whatever that is.

What is that falling out of the sky?

It’s raining! For the first time in  weeks and weeks.

Barcamp Nashville

I just got back from Nashville this afternoon and went straight to work to finish out a football special section. No matter how psyched you are there are still deadlines that have to be met. I really enjoyed Barcamp. I took some notes, wrote down some names, shook some hands, handed out some business cards and met some really great people. It was exactly what we needed. Thanks to everyone at Barcamp and all the guest speakers for making this event possible. If you’ve been to http://newstroll.wordpress.com/ lately you’d see that our newspaper’s web site is nearly finished. We are so excited we’ll probably start handing out cigars, this whole thing has felt like one long labor pain. Hopefully it will be a child we will all be proud of.

humpty dumpty

humpty dumpty

Originally uploaded by badger beth

Wow it’s hot. Playgrounds spontaneously combusting. We had an apartment building burn to the ground because somebody left an aerosol can of raid outside in the sun. It exploded into flames apparently. Yikes. The playground incident was in Texas and was caused by hot mulch. Yes, that’s right, hot mulch. Please let it rain before I go up in flames.

doo-doo, doo-doo-doo

deer

Originally uploaded by badger beth

Wowee-zowee what a week. Been working my little fanny off. So, poor audience, you get another phone doodle. enjoy!

fraidy cat

fraidy cat

Originally uploaded by badger beth

I am scared of just about everything. Lately it’s bridges. How does a structure of concrete and steel just collapse just like that. No warning. No notice. Just kablooey! Down in a heap in the river. I was apprehensive before when crossing one, now I’m freaked. First off I am a nervous passenger, always stomping on the imaginary brake and white knuckling the “oh-shit handle”. When I drive I make my grandma seem reckless. I’m scared to death of heights too. I can barely get up on a ladder to change the light bulbs in my house. I like lamps I can reach with my feet on the floor. So when you combine these two phobias you get my bridge anxiety. I think I’ll just take the ferry thanks. And now for a confession ,speaking of anxiety, my nerves are kinda raw. If I have snapped at you it is because of this more than anything else. I truly am sorry for that and will try to find a more healthy way of releasing the steam. No excuse, I know, but a reason so you’ll know.

captain obvious

captain obvious

Originally uploaded by badger beth

well, the title says it all i think. Whew I’m tired. Long day

unimpressed

unimpressed

Originally uploaded by badger beth

So today, I am unimpressed with near about everything. The internet & e-mail has been less than impressive today. Lucky if I can finish this post. Our government has less than impressive diplomatic skills. It’s just been one of those days where the unimpressive just flows over into my work and you dear reader get stuck with a stick drawing on message paper. Meh…

my hair

my hair

Originally uploaded by badger beth

The very first thing I am going to do on payday is get a HAIRCUT! Can’t take it any more. I wish it would stick up like this. It doesn’t. It just lays there like a dank furry creature born to smother my brain in its thick flyaway tentacles.

at caddy’s

at caddy’s

Originally uploaded by badger beth

Some characters you might recognize, some you might not. Never really been good at portraits.

read the news today

read the news today

Originally uploaded by badger beth

I have taken the advice and picked a font. Mighty Zeo from Blambot comics. I think I might be enjoying myself too much today to put together anything serious. I’m just glad that I have friends who appreciate what I do and are willing to critique it honestly. That is a most helpful thing to have. I have been up to now a very stubborn student, now I’m ready for stage 2 (or 3 or 4 or whatever stage i’m on). There will be more posts because there will be more drawings. Since I’m not much shakes at writing the posts may just be a picture, but they will be there everyday.

yippee!

I fixed it! I fixed it! I just sat down and did the damn thing and it looks sooo much nicer. Now let’s see if we can get some new art on here.

a privilege

a privilege

Originally uploaded by badger beth

i wish i could be oblivious to authority like this guy and his gang. i couldn’t imagine being so sure of my position and so securely in power. what that must be like. must feel really good to be beyond reproach. who needs law anyhow if you are the law. on to something else that makes me feel better, our website looks GREAT! Can’t wait to see how it will all look when it’s finished. We’ve been at this for a while now. It’s been painful at times, but now we can see it. we can practically hold it in our hand. Got more to do, but with our team, i think we’ll manage. and manage well i might add

sketchbook july 10

sketchbook july 10

Originally uploaded by badger beth

Trying out new methods & materials. drawn with a pilot precise pen & all surface graphite pencil in the trusty moleskine. i discovered by accident that said pen is not in fact waterproof. the graphite pencil is nice because it doesn’t smudge, but don’t get it wet because it will make a lovely wash. so, much like a gremlin, don’t get it wet!

swagger

swagger

Originally uploaded by badger beth

do you recognize her? she drew the hair. and no that’s not a unibrow, it’s her glasses. it’s newscoma of course! cause she’s got swagger yes she does.

my space

my space

Originally uploaded by badger beth

This is a dreadful scratchy drawing, can’t believe i signed it. like the muted primary color scheme though, easier on the eyes than previous posts. have a good weekend see ya monday

rorshach test 2

rorshach test 2

Originally uploaded by badger beth

Make of it what you will. I’m sure that you can come up with something good. Even though I drew it, I don’t know what the hell it is or what it’s about. Pure randomness. So go for it, interpret.

zapping the pram

zapping the pram

Originally uploaded by badger beth

If you have never zapped a PRAM then you have never had the pleasure of meeting a Mac. I killed the mini mac again. hope to God it’s not my fault. I have a sneaking suspicion that it is though. it is now in the hands of the Mac guru, who will sadly shake his head and sigh at my stupidity. ah will, sigh

badger

badger

Originally uploaded by badger beth

i think that the following description is pretty accurate except for the bit about the dogs.
“The badger is a usually quiet and docile creature in its own domain; however, when cornered or when a threat is perceived it can possess impressive courage. Weighing up to thirty-five pounds when fully grown, the badger has an extraordinarily dangerous bite, which it is willing to use recklessly when threatened. A formidable adversary for any dog, the badger was a sought-after participant for the fighting pit”

lost in space

lost in space

Originally uploaded by badger beth

I don’t have much to say today. ya’ll have a good weekend, see you monday, maybe then i’ll have more to say

dinner for 2

dinner for 2

Originally uploaded by badger beth

ever wonder what happened to humpty dumpty after he fell off the wall? he was eaten by old mcdonald’s cat! I drew this after going to a website called drawanyway.com. The task for today was to draw using your computer. I cheated, using my trusty ballpoint pen to draw the picture. After scanning it into PhotoShop I slapped some lurid color onto it and gave it some shadows. What fun!

top ap story of the day…paris freakin hilton

paris-hilton

Originally uploaded by badger beth

“Paris’ dog just took a crap, quick get that turd!” When does all this start getting just a little creepy? I understand that you give up some privacy when you acquire fame, but christ people land the chopper and go home!

lil bunny foo foo

lil bunny foo foo

Originally uploaded by badger beth

newscoma might actually recognize this one, as she drew the ears. it’s the result of an amusing game where you draw a line or shape and pass it to your friend to finish. I have several from last night, but this one is my favorite. as you can tell by the fanged rabbit, i’ve been in the “dark happy hour of the soul” so to speak. better now. thanks all

high gas prices

goodbye-old-pal

Originally uploaded by badger beth.

“sometiiiimes it seeems so uuuseless to complain…”
Big Oil (to use the worn out phrase) has got our backs against the wall this time. They could raise the price of gas to $5 and we’d still pay it, cause they know we’d have to in order to go to work, go to the store or visit our out of town families. We’ll gripe of course, but that doesn’t seem to get us anywhere. Public transport is rare here in small town USA most don’t even have cab service. It’s 15 miles to the nearest train station (well unless you care to hop a freight). You could get a ride from the cops, but I don’t think they’d take you where you want to go. A horse might be handy, but where do you put a horse while you are at work? We don’t have hitching posts anymore. We are being asked to trim our oil consumption, but as jobs leave small town america people who live in those small towns have to drive further out to get work. So we wring our hands, whine, gripe and pay up because it just seems so useless to complain.

jelly belly

jelly belly

Originally uploaded by badger beth.

This was how I felt after wolfing down Wal-Mart chicken mashed taters & gravy and mac n cheese. (I know, 2 starches). It was pretty dang good, now I’m hungry again.
I learned last night that if you want to learn something, ask an enthusiast. They will tell you all you need to know and more than you wanted to hear until your eyes glaze over. Last night I learned about Golf. Walking around whacking a ball with a crooked stick never appealed to me, but this guy had dewy eyed passion for golf. I learned all about the swing, back spin and how to chop out of a rough. I didn’t realize there was that much to it, hitting a little ball with a stick. So, am I ready to take on the course? No…not at this time. I prefer fishing. Want to learn about fishing? Ask me, I’m an enthusiast!

life is hard when your mind is blown

blown

Originally uploaded by badger beth.

If I’ve been a bit stand offish I apologize. Been in a weird place. Not to worry, things are slowly getting better. Got a hair cut today, makes my head feel 10x lighter, and I can see! Yip-pee! So yeah, I feel better, because I have good friends that have patience and caring. Just like to say thanks, in case I hadn’t already.

check it out cheney

check it out cheney

Originally uploaded by badger beth.

10 to 1 he vetos. Whataya think? Newscoma pointed out that whatever he does it will be on the 4th anniversary of “Mission Accomplished” talk about your timing. I wanted to add the heh heh heh of Bush’s laughter, but I didn’t have any room. For anyone that read my previous installment I apologize, PMS can be a real bitch sometimes.
On the subject of the vote on Iraq concerning funding and withdrawal, the withdrawal is yet another non-binding piece of legislation.
If I was Bush, I would sign the thing then when the non-binding date came around I would laugh “heh heh heh”. Because, seriously why wouldn’t he when he could. We are still leaving the gate open on this guy. McCain didn’t make the vote, too busy campaigning I guess (what a weasel). I wish he would come out on one side or the other. He’s like a tennis match, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Gives me cramps.

political-discourse

political-discourse

Originally uploaded by badger beth.

Don’t you just hate strident earnest people. Like musicians & actors with causes. You know what Joe-Bob, why don’t you just pick up your guitar, your script or what have you and get back to doing what you do. Stop getting all up into things that you don’t really get. Tired of being prostelitized to by show biz morons. You care so much about global warming shut your wind tunnel. That’ll cut out some green house gases. I know you have money and a platform, but geez enough already.
Wow, can you tell that yesterday was earth day? I don’t have anything against earth day, but it just seems like one more thing I’m supposed to feel guilty about. Hell, I already feel guilty for being white, American, useing gas, eating meat & my bar tab. Why are ya’ll trying to beat me down for what kind of light bulb I use? Here’s an idea for a new holiday…American guilt day. That ought to cover ALL the bases.

self portrait

self portrait

Originally uploaded by badger beth.

a light in the dark…yep that’s me!

middle-yeast-infection

middle-yeast-infection

Originally uploaded by badger beth.

Two things of interest in Iraq right now. The International Red Cross Commitee (spelling?) states that times are only getting tougher for the average Iraqi person, apparentley (I need to go back to school) because of U.S. led military actions. The other item is a statement from U.S. military that Iran is not only supplying weopons, they are also training insurgents to use those weopons. Also in Iran news, Russia is confused by some military posturing by Iranian forces around the newly functioning nuclear “power plant”. Syria seems to also be getting in on the action ,as we all know, allowing their militias to cross the border to assist the insurgency. So yeah, I don’t think that an antibiotic is going to cure this infection. Maybe a good strong enema.

johnny-hart

johnny-hart

Originally uploaded by badger beth.

Johnny Hart of B.C. and Wizard of Id fame died at his storyboard of an apparent stroke. I hope that when I am 76 that I will still have enough mind to draw, much less still be working. So long Johnny and thanks for all the jokes.

the-ick

the-ick

Originally uploaded by badger beth.

Spring sprung and then was knocked out by too cold temps. My little flowering vines, all dead. Caput. How depressing. So I feel a little icky today because I feel cheated by the weather. On the bright side, at least I don’t farm for a living.

giddy up

giddy up

Originally uploaded by badger beth.

hooray for rodeo! dust off those boots and cram that cowboy hat on your head we’re goin to the rodeo. tight britches and mean sum-bitches

sheriff

sheriff

Originally uploaded by badger beth.

This is what happens when I’m waiting on a pdf to load. Also happens when I’m on hold. Yes that is his mustache

uncle-sam-and-africa

uncle-sam-and-africa

Originally uploaded by badger beth.

You’d think that we could learn from experience and be a little more proactive about possible terrorist hot spots and havens of radical Islam. One would think so, but then again I keep stubbing my toe, so there’s that.

Fwd: that guy

Fwd: that guy

Originally uploaded by badger beth.

you just know it’s bad when this happens. gives you a whole new perspective on “he said hello with his eyes” don’t it

chickadee & nuthatch

chickadee & nuthatch

Originally uploaded by badger beth.

I went a little Mark Trail on this one. Aren’t they cute? Drawn with a med point black ink pen (Silver metal Parker) on a piece of scratch paper as is most of my stuff these days. I find that cheap materials actually free me up and keep me loose. Expensive paper just gathers dust at my house, and I have a plethora of gorgeous pens that are probably dry by now. My favorite drawing surface is a doodle pad…nice especially when I have a super juicy cheap ink pen that blots and smears.
Doodling means never having to erase! Now for our world news round up 3.22.07: Justin Timberlake will not be an honorary Tennessean • People are pissed off about a polar bear cub being adopted by some really nice guy who sings to him • Don’t buy the wet pet food, just don’t • No pork in the Iraq bill say GOP, it’s against their religion • Mugabe away! We can only hope so for the sake of Zimbabwe • North Korea took their ball and went home, talks fall through • Speach! Speach! Karl Rove to speak to congress (or whoever, like it mattes)

sunshine-law

sunshine-law

Originally uploaded by badger beth.

It’s that time of year again…Sunshine Law Week! So come out – come out wherever you are you public record hording jerks

strolling-in-spring

strolling-in-spring

Originally uploaded by badger beth.

Finally, spring! The urge to plant something besides my fist.
It started harmlessly with Daffodils, then flowering vines, now it’s an uncontrolable urge to plant up every bare space in my yard.
The more garden the less you have to mow. Right?

zombie-rage

zombie-rage

Originally uploaded by badger beth.

I would like to take this time to apologize to anyone that might have been affected by my zombie rage. Perhaps one day they will make a medication that will cure my night wanderings and addiction to brains.
In other news, Scooter takes his comupins. GUILTY! Ken Rove you’re next buddy, and your little dog Cheney too.

And now…for a spam mail sentence created from the following e-mails:
Easel Snorkeling
Memory Alcoholic
Inquest Bozo
It Must Be In The Water
Convalescence Marina
It must be in the water at Convalescence Marina where even a memory alcoholic or inquest bozo can enjoy easel snorkling.
Credited to the following fine correspondents:
Holmes X. Walter
Maude
Miss Calculation
Artistically
Madeleine M. Mays
I don’t know who any of you people are, but thanks for your never ending commitment to my junk mail box. Thanks for all you do.

little-bo-peep-is-hungry

little-bo-peep-is-hungry

Originally uploaded by badger beth.

Well, and that’s all I got. No it’s not a fresh picture, but oh,well, so what, it still applies. People that still HAVE THE VOICE STILL HAVE THE POWER! So get of ya’lls asses! When you let your government decide for you, you are truely screwed. Ya’ll be the sheep, I’ll be the wolf, let’s see how you like it. How does it feel?

funky-chicken

funky-chicken

Originally uploaded by badger beth.

I don’t know why, but for some reason this fortune cookie cracked me up. My horoscope told me today to be adventurous and try something new and now this…somebody thinks I’m yellow. Heck, maybe I should be scared. After all with our trigger happy president and what all we should probably all run for cover.
Hey that was an interesting call from Nashville, should’ve been an agent, oh well that’s life.
k, back to our political environment, what is up with Tennessee? We used to be the Volunteer state, now we’ve turned into the “no way” state. English only last week, now we are going to give aborted babies death certificates? Why? What good will it do? Nationally we have a non-binding resolution pass the house. So? Now what? All the fresh young Dems are up there strutting around like they just did something grand. Hell! that dude should’ve been imprisoned yeeeeaaarrrsss ago IMPEACHED I tell you. Like he’s going to think twice about breaking a “non-binding resolution.” We’re talking about a man who has no concept of the constitution he is supposed to uphold.
And what’s this I hear about criminals getting “moral waivers”? You won’t let gays in the military because he might be checking you out, but that rapist mugger guy, he’s not a threat ya know. There are even stories of recruiters going straight to the jailhouse. I’d say I can’t believe it, but yeah sadly I can. Here in the land of the free, where doctors make laws and presidents break them, it’s surprising that it isn’t worse.

apple hater

apple hater

Originally uploaded by badger beth.

I have been around and around with this freakin machine. I might as well be trying to communicate using smoke signals. shit. I can’t even post on my other site without the damn thing freezing up on me. I’ve already had to restart 3 freaking times and I was only trying to scroll down the damn page. I can’t remember the password to this account so I can’t even post directly into it. and now I can’t remember how the hell I got cravens world and flikr linked up.

sorry about the temper tantrum, but damn this is frustrating. anyway on a lighter note, i really enjoyed nashville and meeting all you swell people, and look forward to our next meeting. so, a great big hello from Pottersville, yo northside bitches

kafka

kafka

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

I have been sick for THREE weeks and I am real tired of hacking up the funk. It has been a disgusting time for me as well as my neighbors who have probably heard all the rasping and gagging they can take. The walls on the efficiency are really thin so we know a lot more about each other than either one of us is comfortable with. They seem to be nice people. Unlike the jerks who brought their stupid large dog to the efficiency appartment to live. He chases everything and barks all night. Clearly not a dog made to live in tight quarters, but some people just don’t get it. He barks at people when they come home late at night. He pisses on our porch furniture. He pisses on my tires. He chases our cars when we pull out. He barks all night. If this is your dog, please for the love of God, move somewhere else. Please…no really…MOVE! Anybody seen my cat? Cause I haven’t. Dog related? Probably, stupid bastard ass dog.

pea-coat

pea-coat

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

Self portrait in my large oversized wool navy p-coat. I am smoking not getting my temperature taken. I felt a little funny about the coat until the first sharp blast of cold air hit my hands and legs, but not my body. Everything from knees to shoulders are toasty fine.

stampede!

stampede!

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

oh happy day! balance at last.

tennessee-constitution

tennessee-constitution

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

Tommorrow is election day & on the ballot is a marriage ammendment. So all this year I have been having to stomach the signs encourageing folks to say yes to ammendment 1. The same folks with the bumper stickers “man+woman=marriage. The same proud people that display their church name in their yard. “OUR family attends blah blah blah.”
All of this is supposed to keep marriage sanctity alive. I like how some folks support life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness so long as it is their life, liberty & happiness. Hey, here’s an idea asshole, stay out of my business and I will stay out of yours. Deal – or no deal?

cartoon-11.2.06

cartoon-11.2.06

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

The Trick-or-Treaters had to trick or treat amongst Christmas lights, ugh.
Couldn’t we push Christmas back to where it belongs? Ya know around Thanksgiving?

‘member me?

cautious-mouse

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

So, I apologize for being away for so long. I’ve had a hard time with discipline lately and haven’t been drawing as frequently as I should. Too much weeeeeeeeeeeee! I guess. It’s been a strange month.

anchorman

anchorman

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

BREAKING NEWS! No, just kidding. Same as always. I turned 33 earlier this month. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Actually I’m having more fun than at 21.

out of pocket

sorry i’ve been a bit out of pocket lately. been busy. that wooshing sound you heard, that was me going by. when the dust settles i promise i will post a new drawing. full color and probably more than one. stay tuned

rorshack-test-1

rorshack-test-1

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

This is a “draw your own conclusions” type of drawing. As a kid I used to fill pages with random doodles until I could pick up a thread and construct a story. Drawn in med point black ballpoint pen under low light conditions at the Pub.

bitin dog press

the-press-bitin-dog

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

I didn’t know we lived in China where press freedoms are non-existant. I know I shouldn’t be so surprised by our current government’s disregard of law and constitutional rights, but sadly I am.

statue of liberty

statue of liberty

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

If we can’t even give liberty and refuge to the people who come to us, then how in hell are we going to give it to people who obviously don’t want us there?

commanderinchiefsmokescreen

commanderinchiefsmokescreen

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

Really, how could I resist I ask you? He really makes it too easy.

the-little-general

the-little-general

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

Every so often in local politics you’ll have a candidate that refuses to lose. It can get kinda ugly. Accusations get tossed. Reputations go up in smoke. And they say local politics is boring. Sure, if a 3 ring circus where the lions and tigers are loose and chasing the clowns and a rampaging elephant is boring. Ah well, I guess you’ll have that sometimes.

a rant on why not

biodiedel-low

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

This is the country of ingenuity, is it not? Then why are we not doing what it takes to come up with better solutions to our energy problems? Is it because Americans are too lazy to think anymore? We can think of many ways to use the internet, but we are still using filthy fuels like coal and gas to power our imaginations. Is there anyone out there that has a better idea than razing our mountains and pillaging our wilderness? Someone please say yes. I would really appreciate it. I grew up with this idea that Americans were the inventors, the idealists. I have been let down. It is very sad. It’s too bad that we can’t think of something better for us and our future. Coal? Oil? There has got to be a better way than raping our natural beauty. Put your brain into it, and please help save our beautiful country from those who would destroy it in it’s namesake.

accidental-terrorist (meanwhile back at the NSA)

accidental-terrorist

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

Ever wonder what it would take to bring the man to your door? Why are the NSA going through all this effort to data base our calls? What kind of phone company would participate in such a thing? Meanwhile back at the NSA they are tracking down confidential sources from phone calls made by ABC News and the Washington Post. They are doing this to “track down the CIA leak.” Yeah right! What they are doing in essence is the same thing a baseball pitcher does when he hits the batter. The NSA, CIA, FBI & DHS are backing the press off the plate so that the press won’t hit any more home runs. So that no more little white lies turn black. So that the public doesn’t hear any more scandals. So that every one is ignorant, happy and blissed out that we have an arrogant scoff-law for not only a president but an administration as well.

little-bo-peep-is-hungry

little-bo-peep-is-hungry

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

A gallon of gas costs half of what you make an hour on minimum wage. Exxon has just announced that their quarterly profits are at their 5th highest EVER. Our boy George is going to investigate allegations of price gouging. An oil man investigating oil prices is like (fill in the blank). I don’t think we need an investigation to know we are getting screwed over. Do you?

chicken-little

chicken-little

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

We have a controversy brewing over here involving a power company, a small town, and angry home owners. The perfect brew for a public stew.

politics-as-usual

politics-as-usual

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

It’s election year again. Wonder what nastiness will ensue. Actually it doesn’t take an election to get these guys riled up.

can-you-hear-me-now

can-you-hear-me-now

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

I just felt like coloring something. I drew it with my mouse, threw some paint on it, plastic wrap filter. quite fun.

The Ride of the Valkyres (Iraq)

This being my first real full scale war in my lifetime, Vietnam was over by the time I was born, I have never seen so many freakin helicopters in one place ever. I’ve been a little dismayed lately. Next stop Iran? Probably. That would be par for the course wouldn’t it. Where to next, whose ass can we kick next. Who is going to kick ours? Who will be the last one standing on a charred dead planet.

Ok. That’s enough pedantic misery for the day. I will go out tonite & celebrate St. Pat’s with tall frothing pints of Dark handsome beers. I will have fun. Politics, news, wars, gas prices be damned!

the-great-oz

the-great-oz

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

this week is what the american press is calling sunshine week during which we celebrate and remind people of the fact that yes, public records are public and that no. we do not like sneaky secretive governments. that animal is actually supposed to be toto, but this morning was not a good drawing day and i screwed up the tail so that now it looks more like a cat. toto the cat.

free-speech

free-speech

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

sorry i’m on a green kick lately. i originally drew this cartoon in response to the mahommed debacle. it might be out of date, but i wanted to color something and i feel that it is still valid.

what the…..?

What is going on? First we have this port deal with a middle eastern country that is currently operating an embargo on Israel. Now there’s this trip to India? and Pakistan? I just hope that he doesn’t get shot because 1. He is our president 2. if he were to be killed then we’d be stuck with Dick Cheney for president. I don’t think any of us want that. Oh, and they renewed The patriot act and made some of the provisions permanent. They can still sneak & peak, but they have to tell you within 7 days. Oh. well. that’s alright then!

dominium-eminens

dominium-eminens

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

Dominium Eminens:
Common Name: Eminent Domain
Can be found in courtrooms and deep pockets. Recently spotted in Dresden TN. This animal is a voracious beast with an insatiable appetite and should be approached with extreme caution!

1 million dollar re-ward

Dear Mr. Cleric,
How come you can come up with the cash to have someone murdered because they drew a picture, but you are not willing to give the same money to the people there and in other Muslim countries that need your help? I was just wondering and hoped that you could shine some light.
Sincerely,
A cartoonist

tn-waltz

tn-waltz

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

Don’t worry, I fixed the spelling on the one that went in the paper. I don’t know what happened. I turned 30 and forgot how to spell. I was going to write a whole thing about my feelings about the world situation, but I couldn’t spell some of the words I wanted to use, so I’ll let the writers have at it. I’ll just draw. May have another color one soon.

wanted, dead or dead

yesterday i heard that some taliban feller was offering up 244 lbs of gold for danish, french, or otherwise cartoonist. yikes.

bar-politics

bar-politics

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

hokay, this was funnier the first time I tried to post it.
never ever ever talk politics in a bar unless you are up for a shouting match. i’ve been guilty as hell of this as well. not so much anymore. at least until 2008.

arghhhhhh

arghhhhhh

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

oh the fun you can have with taxidermy!

Off with his head

Protesters in Palestine are now calling for the death of any involved with the cartoons of Muhammad. I guess our government is going to be soft too, because instead of deploring the violent reaction they are rebuking the newspapers.

flag burning

_41275172_gaza-ap203

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

Here is the reaction that a simple drawing elicited. It’s refreshing to see them burn someone else’s flag for a change. The European press is a bunch of limp wristed pansies for apologizing for their freedom of speach. I hope that here in the states that we don’t get yellow and give in to fanatics who would wish us dead no matter what we do. The cartoon was only an excuse to do what they do anyway. With that out of the way, I do not hate Muslims or Christians. I despise a fanatic of any kind.

Muhammed vs the world

JP-011005-Muhammed-Westerga

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

This is one of the drawings that is causing all the furor in the middle east.

oil-addiction

oil-addiction

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

It’s really going to be hard for our country to let go of oil as long as we have an “oil man” as president. Until we elect an ethanol man we will be stuck on a pin at the whims of automobile and oil companies.

utah-voters

utah-voters

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

Utah’s Republican senators want to have the power to pick senate candidates instead of having them voted in. A direct quote from Utah Senate president John Valentine (according to the Salt Lake Tribune) “We know more than the voters do.”
Visit the Trib at www.sltrib.com

george-bush-the-spy-who…

george-bush-the-spy-who…

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

Who was that guy that said give me liberty or give me death?
We shouldn’t allow our “government servants” to legislate us into a box no matter how safe we might be in that box. (I had more written, but sometimes less is more)

franklin

franklin

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

I ran into a blast from the past the other night, and he reminded me of this drawing that i had done at the pub. it doesn’t even really look like him, but they do both share that elusive poser quality.
i hadn’t seen him in 11 or 12 years. it seemed to me that he had a reluctance and in some instances memory lose about his past. i guess that happens when you get older. right franklin?

confused-flower

confused-flower

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

2 days ago i was freezing my butt off. Today? today would be a good day for fishing. That’s how it is with southern winters.

another classic rock station

another classic rock statio

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

So I’m driving in my truck, trying to find something to listen to when I discover that my rock station has become a classic rock station. Now I’m down to country, classic rock, oldies, hip-hop (rap), or NPR. Nothing to rock out to. No wonder Satelite radio is succesful!

malice lights

malice lights

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

Quittin’ ain’t easy. That’s the truth no doubt. To all those with resolutions, good luck with that.

patriot act

patriot act

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

BAD DOG!
Can’t begin to explain how much I despise the “Patriot Act” It’s a disgusting abuse of power, and unconstitutional.

drunk driver color

drunk driver color

Originally uploaded by cravens world.

don’t let this happen to you ok. original color art for the weakley county press for 12.29.05