Monster: for Newscoma

Breakfast standoff

Every morning we have a guest for breakfast, the mockingbird. He sits on the porch banister daringly close waiting for his opportunity.

I love the bloody minded

This guy takes the prize. It reminds me of paying for gas once with 3 rolls of pennies after I had pumped the gas. The clerk told me I couldn’t pay with that and I told her “tough, I just bought $1.50 in gas”

Ron Paul

Just kidding, this post has nothing to do with Ron Paul. I’m just messing with you. Monkeys always look!

Danish Cartoons: touchy fundamentalists

I found this through Comics Reporter and thought it sounded familiar. Does it ring a bell to you?

Hillary Clinton stars in “The Red Badge of Courage”

I was going to go with Rambo, but it seemed too obvious.

Conan the buddhist: Cheesey Poof the heathen

You’ve all seen the cute little picture of the dog that prays with his buddhist monk master. How cute and yet it underlines the main difference between dogs and cats. Cats are only convinced by food and even then rarely.

You say Hillary or Obama or McCain or whateva

Is it November yet? Because I’ve had it with this primary season. The longer the Democrats wait to nominate the more I dislike the both of them. bah. Pick a winner!

Nigerian cartoonist Obe Ess attacked in his home

This kind of thing happens alot in Africa. According to allAfrica.com,

The intruders initially seized members of the cartoonist’s family, using them as hostages while they uttered threats against him. Then one of the intruders hit Obe Ess hard on the head with the butt of his revolver and was about to beat him when neighbours intervened and the intruders fled. One of them was shot as they fled.

Ess is a cartoonist for The Guardian an independent newspaper. See the Comics Reporter for examples of his work or go straight to here.

New York Auto Show 2008

I love cars. I love to look at them. I like to drive them and ride in them. I really like to look at them, especially new designs.

This BMW concept of the new CS really hit the drool button. Yes I know, fine wine tastes and a beer budget.

Other notables:

The Suzuki Kizashi concept that made you look twice at the manufacturer name, Suzuki? Wow.

I like the double back doors on the John Cooper Works Clubman concept. The black stripes are very fetching.

I don’t even know what to say about the new Scion Hako Coupe except ew. Not a very attractive design, couldn’t be very aerodynamic with that square windshield. I know the look they’re going for, but I don’t think it got there.

The Dodge Challenger is very retro with chrome gas cap and all. Very nice, but obviously a rehash.

There were some interesting takes on the electric car this year, the Mitsubishi, i-MiEV sport being my favorite. I like the fact that they incorporated a little more snaz with the mustang like feature down the side and they didn’t box the back of the vehicle off as you see on so many electric or hybrid vehicles.

I was “meh” about the Acura, the Hyundai, Kia, & Saab (I never could dig the design & I’m not sure you should market clothing while you’re trying to pitch the car, seems desperate)

The new New York Taxi concept from Ford may be ugly, but it has very convenient features: sliding doors, back doors that open, and a card swipe for the passenger’s use. Ugly, but pretty cool.

This, this could only have come from Pontiac. I was looking at the “new” Solstice and came across this “Sport Truck”. It must be a terrible sinking feeling when 50 Cent becomes your pitchman. I never understood this car/pickup design idea. It’s not very good looking and it just seems that it would lack in both areas. Of course, I guess, if you’re just looking for a place to put the speakers then I say go for it.

Richard Thompson: “Make the pie higher!”

I just love Thompson’s work, he cracks me up with his cartoons and illustrations. This one he did for George W. Bush’s 1st inaugural week.

Oh and Richard Thompson also has his own Wikipedia page. He’s awful modest for a heavy hitter check out that resume. wow.

The mess in Iraq: 5th year

Five years ago, I knew it was a crock of shit. Two years after 9-11 and still no Osama bin Laden. I knew that despite anyone’s best efforts that this desert war would be nothing like the last one. I knew that going to Iraq was a stupid ill advised move. Fake evidence, bad “intelligence”, and a blood thirsty administration made it inevitable that we would be at war with Iraq. And not just Iraq, but the whole middle east.

So now it’s 5 years on and I don’t feel any better about Iraq. The issues that prompted the invasion have become muddied. I just hope that in another 5 years I’m not repeating a post like this.

stone henge on fire!

I was playing around with photoshop brushes and came up with this:

My Dad was always trying to tell me to use my head for something besides a hatrack. Looking around, he may be right. I suck at being an adult, I like to play too much. I can’t pay attention and I don’t think far enough ahead. I’m not on task, well unless I’m at work or course, but after that work goes right out the window. Discipline? What? No way man you got me confused with somebody else. They say that the only way that you can be a success at freelancing is to have discipline. Any suggestions on how you learn that? A professional ass kicker? Martial arts? A life coach? Dr. Phil? (incidentally anyone who calls Dr. Phil on me gets it right in the nose). I dunno, maybe one of these days I’ll learn to be a good girl and do what I need do. Nah, I’ll always be a screw head. Look! It’s Stone Hinge Burning! OMG!

Lynndie England: stupid git

I have no words, here’s her’s.

I can’t talk right now, I’m too mad about it. Like I said, stupid git. And just because I’m not in the military doesn’t mean that I can’t say what I just said. Just to head some folks off at the pass who will tell me I don’t understand. I don’t need to understand. I don’t care about the wounded ego of some small time thug who went waaayyyy beyond interrogation and tortured men who were already powerless. Following orders, I call bullshit Oliver North.

Heather Mills: The water incident court sketch

Celebrity rich folk can be soooo amusing. I dunno what she’s so mad about, hell she got 48.6 mil out of it. She should be doing a shin-dig jig all the way to the bank. (Court sketches are fun too, I kinda thought of being a court sketch artist when I was younger, but I’m leaning more toward cartoon forensics.)

Anyhow Ms. Mills got skeeved at Paul McCartney’s lawyer. According to The Mirror via dlisted;

The Mirror reports that after Heather Mills celebrated her multi-million dollar divorce settlement by pouring a glass of water over the head of Paul McCartney’s lawyer. Fiona Shackleton arrived to court with a gorgeous bouffant and left looking like a wet cat. Heather apparently did it, because Fiona had made several “unpleasant comments” about her in court.

And now, are you ready for it, because it is awesome. I want to buy this drawing and put it on my wall. This is the official court sketch…

bahahahahahahaha…sigh. High drama and high art collide!

alien abduction!

Oh, rock on! This sounds like some fun. How far is it to Toronto?

Sunshine Week

It’s that time of year that we celebrate open government! (or not as the case may be) Anyhow me & Newscoma will celebrate it.

“Three-quarters of American adults view the federal government as secretive, and nearly nine in 10 say it’s important to know presidential and congressional candidates’ positions on open government when deciding who to vote for, according to a Sunshine Week survey by Scripps Howard News Service and Ohio University.

The survey shows a significant increase over the past three years in the percentage of Americans who believe the federal government is very or somewhat secretive, from 62 percent of those surveyed in 2006 to 74 percent in 2008.”

That’s a scary percentage of people who have grown wary of their government. It’s not what I would call a vote of confidence. Even on a local level:

“Those who see local government as secretive increased from 34 percent in 2007 to 40 percent in the 2008 survey.”

And of course there’s this from the files of “Captain Obvious”.

“Despite ordering improvements more than two years ago, President Bush has barely made a dent in the huge backlog of unanswered requests under the Freedom of Information Act.”

So what’s the big secret? Let the sunshine in!

Campaign till you puke!

The voting block isn’t the only group experiencing primary fatigue. Hell, I’m so sick of election year already that I’m ready to give them all the finger. Hillary, Barrack lets act like you’re in the same party, you know the Democratic Party, the party that’s going to lose this election if ya’ll keep it up. I’ve heard less trash talk in professional wrestling than I have in this primary season. I know that there are some really charged issues in this race (race & gender, blah, blah, blah and all that) but shouldn’t we as a party be approaching these with more civility? How am I supposed to believe that either one of you are capable of handling the issues this country faces when ya’ll can’t even act right during a campaign? Both of you need to suck it up and dry it up. Try to act presidential and maybe I’ll believe you.

Dunkin Duh-oh nuts

An interesting product tie-in, eh?

My Flying Saucer

I want! I want! I want!!!!!! This house is for sale in Chattanooga!

This ‘flying saucer’ house, pictured on the side of Signal Mountain in Chattanooga, Tenn., Tuesday, March 11, 2008, will go up for auction on Saturday. The buyer needs a fascination for outer space, tolerance for gawkers and at least $100,000. Built by the late Curtis W. King in 1970, the circular house has multiple levels, three bedrooms, two bathrooms and an entrance staircase that lowers and retracts with the push of a button.

I waaaannnnttttt!

vogue: strike a pose nuthin’ to 2 it

bwhahahahaha…

OMG! Too tard to moddle! 

Spitzer

Sheesh, what a week.

On the flip side: Sally Kern

I’ve read some funny comments before, but this one floored me. Awesome, just awesome!

Spc. Monica Lin Brown

She is the first woman to receive the Silver Star in Afghanistan. It is truly a heroic deed done by a woman who is only 19 years old. What was I doing when I was 19? I was just starting college and learning about life in general, but it was nothing compared to the bravery exhibited by this chick. The CBS news story is here.

Martin Robbery suspects apprehended

Thanks to our local law enforcement and their cooperation the suspects in Friday’s armed robbery which took place at the University St. branch of Regions bank were arrested.

Martin armed robbery

The Regions Bank on University St. was held up today by a single armed individual and a driver. The local police are on the case and hopefully the robber will be caught soon.

Update: The local police believe that the robbery suspect is on UTM campus. The vehicle he drove was stolen from mid Tennessee. He is described as a young black man in his 20’s and was wearing a wig at the time of the robbery.

Here are some local links to the ongoing story:

the pacer

nwtntoday.com

update 2: they have called an all clear on UTM campus. Still haven’t apprehended the criminal, but they don’t feel that any students or faculty are in any danger.  

a tip of the hat

A hat tip to all the great people that spread their creativity around like a happy disease. Yay blogoshpere!

Big Brother is watching you…

He just doesn’t know what to do with you.

This will make it easier to catch your dissident ass.

The FBI is trying to police themselves, which is admirable, even if it 3-4 years to late in some cases.

And to lighten things up a little, I give you drunk Elvis.

Carl Edwards flips out

Edwards

Earnhardt

Biffle

Harvick

Burton

Kahne

Ragan

Kvapil

Hamlin

Martin

Those are your top 10 drivers. Edwards gets to flip out again. And I just have to say “Go boy!” Pretty good race with a record number of cautions for this track, 11 total. Everyone got out alive, and nobody was injured too badly except for maybe a couple of egos. I call that a good race. Boogity, Boogity see ya’ll in new digs at Atlanta.

(Update: Carl Edwards’ team penalized 100 points for a missing oil tank cover that was found out during a post race inspection.)

red flag caution: 4 to go

Due to all the debris on the track from Gordon’s car they’ve called a red flag caution. During a red flag, nobody moves. No work can be done on the cars, and all engines are off. It’s not a good situation this close to the end of the race.

6 to go: caution 11

Whatever the drivers are going to do, now is the time.

Wow Gordon just got hit hard. His radiator is laying out in the middle of the track. Gordon eased up the track and clipped Kenseth. Kenseth pulls out of it, but Gordon hits that inside wall and his car was obliterated.

caution 10

Kurt Busch loses a tire and rams the wall. Lose isn’t adequate to describe what happened. It exploded right in the middle of a turn 4 and he didn’t have anywhere else to go except our old friend the wall. He’s ok, but he won’t be able to finish the race which hurts his point standings. ooft

17 to go

Desperation starts to kick in right about now. Kasey Kahne just nudged Paul Menard out of his way. No ill effects, just racing. If you can’t drive any faster, get out of the way. Menard is creating a hazard by not moving on.

Caution 9

Dale Jarrett spins out into the wall and several drivers narrowly miss hitting him. Could’ve been worse. According to the commentators turn 2 is catching a lot of wind that is blowing directly into the side of the cars, making an already tough turn even worse. Turn 2 has been the devil today.

Caution 8

Mears goes high and catches Vickers for caution #8. Mears comes out alright, but Vickers gets a taste of the wall.

What’s eating Jimmy Johnson?

Last year’s champion hasn’t done well so far this year. Even on this track where he normally does well he’s lagging. What’s eating him?

Whose tire is this?

There’s a tire on the loose. It had been put over the pit wall, somehow ended up bouncing back over the wall and started rolling across the track. That’ll be a penalty of course, but you’ll get no honest injuns admitting ownership of the errant tire.

On the replay, the tire was Carl Edwards’ tire, but a camera guy was in the way of the tire catcher. So NASCAR reviewed it and decided against a penalty. Good call.

whew…68 to go

Gettin tired. I’m keeping an eye on Kenseth. He’s moved up 3 places in the last 2 laps and has the fastest lap time.

Welcome to the wall rookie!

Patrick Carpentier, Canadian rookie, gets in the back of Ryan Newman, gets loose and slaps the inside wall. Another one bites the dust.

Caution flag 6, Scott Riggs spins out and Franchitti gets a piece of him. Great view from the Gopher Cam.

The sound of the pit

Zip zip zip (air wrenches)

noise of engines at idle. tires screeching up to the pit

There’s a lot of activity, every member of the crew has a specific job to do. One mistake can mess up the whole stop.

Lap 136

Kenseth holds the lead, but I don’t think that will last long as he has Jeff Gordon looming larger in his back window.

Commercial break: Junior carries a camel. Kinda funny.

smoke break

Lap 76 of 267

Crank it Up

Kyle Busch says that the track is not wide enough and decides to take the apron. Seems that’s legal in Vegas. That move puts him back in the lead. He’s run off and left the pack.

Tony Stewart is in the wall. Whap! I can’t imagine what it feels like to be zipping along at 184 mph and then slam into a wall. This is his second crash in two days. He’s able to get out of the car and walk away with a little assistance. He’s either hurt his shoulder or his ankle. Of course he could’ve been dead in the old days before the safe barrier. The wall is now built to absorb the energy of the crash and give a little.

green flag pit

Hornish and Mayfield blow tires. You can see how hot the tires get when they are taken off, they smoke. A lot of speeding tickets entering and exiting pit road.

Well Hornish has gone to the garage. Tough break for the rookie.

There’s the caution, right after nearly everyone has already gone to pit for 4 tires and fuel. There’s debris on turn 2. So the boys bring them back in for adjustments.

On a side note, that commercial was completely in Spanish. NASCAR trying to be diverse I suppose.  I don’t know how that’s going to settle with their fan base. They still think Montoya is from Mexico. I used to correct them “No dammit he’s from Columbia.” I don’t bother anymore.

Clean up on turn 2. McMurray #26 lost a hose or something, it looks like a hose at least

NASCAR: Las Vegas, Lap 39

Kyle Busch is in the lead with Carl Edwards hot on his heels. They’re racing like they are the only ones on the track. Side by side, window to window. Edwards catches him down low and takes the lead.

The other Busch, Kurt is hanging out at 4th. He’s definitely one to watch. Like him or not the man can drive.

I can’t believe that some of these guys are still running on the same tires. It’s a matter of time before catastrophe strikes.

vegas: look out for that left turn!

The pace car is a cop car. A Dodge Charger to be exact.

267 laps, 400 miles to go. The main topic of concern is the wind. It’s whipping pretty good and I’m already starting to see some rubbish blowing around on the track. The turns are pretty treacherous too.

I can’t believe that the best name for the gopher cam they could come up with was Digger. I like the cam, just not sure about the silly cartoon gopher.

Reutimann black flagged. He’s already been up in the wall. Turn one got him. He’s got crap hanging off his car. Then he blows a tire. He’s also got the flu. Damn the luck.

Well this going to shape up to be an eventful race. Jamie McMurray just took his car off road into the grass, he about flipped it over. Wild ride, caught a lot of air. First caution of the race.

NASCAR: Las Vegas

boogity boogity

ladies & gentlemen please rise. It’s the only pro sport that starts out with prayer.

The silence of the crowd during the anthem is deafening. Waiting for the flyover. US Air Force Thunderbirds, beautiful, just beautiful. Now is the waiting time. Drivers are strapping in trading baseball caps for helmets. Last minute adjustments, pep talks and checks.

John Byers “gentlemen start your UAW engines!” He’s flanked by showgirls. Only in Vegas. Oh and Robin Leach is announcing the opening ceremonies.